Morning After
by The Blue Raven
Summary: Some serious discussion about relationships, a notsonice discovery, Zin's absence from the vault, and the possibility of a civil war make the morning after Cole's return less relaxing than Mel and Cole could have hoped for. spoilers for the whole season
1. Together Again

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Morning After

By: Blue

Summary: Some serious discussion about relationships, a not-so-nice discovery, Zin's absence from the vault, and the possibility of a civil war make the morning after Cole's return less relaxing than Mel and Cole could have hoped for.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but, hey, just as soon as that deal with Zin goes through…

Timeline: Starts the night of "Remember When"

Spoilers: pretty much the whole first season

Feedback: Better than Fek-Maln. Always welcomed and much appreciated.

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Chapter 1 -- Together Again

Mel tore her eyes away from the telescope only long enough to rub them. She quickly returned her attention to the eye-piece. "Which other ones have you been to?" she yawned, smiling up at Cole.

He smiled adoringly down at her and pulled her upright. "Mel, you should rest now. You're tired."

Startled by her own forwardness, she slid her arms around his waist, smiling and shaking her head. She did not feel even a _little_ inclined to go, not now. Everything was going to be okay. _They_ were going to be okay. Cole smiled down at her, sliding one arm around her and caressing her throat with his free hand.

"Don't want to rest. Want to talk about us, Cole. Right now." The impact of Mel's statement was completely ruined by the loud yawn that followed on its heels.

Cole chuckled softly and shook his head, sliding his other arm around her. "We'll talk in the morning, Mel."

"No." She shook her head firmly, smiling at him and feeling a lot more shy than she was acting. "I am _not_ going to lose one more minute of our life together," she told him firmly, managing to avoid another yawn.

His smile widened and he pulled her fractionally closer. "So you never plan on sleeping again?" he teased.

"Not alone," she whispered. Her eyes widened. Had she actually said that out loud? "Yeah, I think you're right, Cole. I should… be going to bed now."

"Alone?" he asked uncertainly, fervently hoping she would say no. He did _not_ want things going back to the way they had been, her retiring every night alone to her bedroom and him spending hours brooding over that fact in the war-room.

"Guess that's up to you," Mel whispered, fighting the urge to stare at the floor. She smiled into those amazing eyes, waiting, hoping.

"I don't ever want to release you again, Mel," he told her honestly, tightening his grip on her.

She nodded, heart pounding. "Then… let's go to bed, Cole."

"If you want," he replied, leaving the choice with her. Having come back for her, he was willing to wait for as long as it took. It felt so good just to hold her close that he could have spent an eternity of contentment on this memory alone, even if he did have _far_ greater plans for their life together.

She did not have to hesitate before nodding. "I do. I have for awhile."

He smiled and nodded. "Then let's go to bed, Mel. You need to sleep."

"Sleep?" she repeated, blinking. Shaking her head, she laughed. "You may be getting more human, Cole, but you still have a hell of a lot to learn…"

Cole smiled faintly, shaking his own head at the statement. "I _do_ know what goes on in a human bedroom, Mel," he told her softly, his eyes sparkling with love and laughter. "I also know that _you_ need to rest. _We_ have all the time in the world."

She smiled and nodded. "That's right, Cole. You're right. It's just… going to take some getting used to."

"Me being right?" he teased, steering her down the hallway and into her room. "Or the fact that we have a _lifetime_ ahead of us?"

"That one," she whispered, touching his throat. A _lifetime_ ahead of them, a lifetime to share with one another. Wow… It was sobering and uplifting at the same time. "That I _don't_ have to be jealous every second that you're away from me."

He closed his eyes, enjoying her touch for a few moments before firmly reminding himself that he had a lifetime to enjoy such touches and that Mel needed to rest now. "You should sleep now," he whispered, and it was one of the hardest things he had ever said.

Disappointed, Mel let her hand drop, sighing and nodding. "Yeah. I need to… change…" She picked up her pajamas, wondering what came now, if their life would return to the way it had been. 

"Can I ask a favor?" he whispered, closing his eyes.

She looked up, startled by his hesitant tone and behavior. Definitely not typical Cole. Something was up. "Yeah, Cole. Sure."

He opened his eyes again and took a deep breath. "Can I hold you in my arms all night long?"

Clutching the pajamas tightly, Mel nodded, not entirely trusting herself to speak right away. She finally managed a shaky, "Yes."

"Only if you want," he whispered, confused by her sudden shift in behavior, disappointed by it. She seemed less pleased with the idea than he had hoped. 

"More than you can possibly imagine. Let me just go change. You change, too, Cole."

"Change into what?" he asked quietly, pleased.

"Um… good question. We'll have to get you PJs tomorrow if you plan on making a habit of it. Tonight I guess you can just sleep… you don't _sleep_, Cole," she pointed out, frowning.

"No, Mel." He shook his head. "You already knew that."

She frowned, scratching the back of her neck and biting her lower lip thoughtfully. "You want to stay in _bed_ all night without sex _or_ sleep?" she finally asked, feeling more than a little confused.

"Yes, Mel." Cole smiled at her, nodding and wondering what was so remarkable in his request that Mel seemed so befuddled by it. Perhaps she simply had not understood. "I want to spend the night holding you in my arms. I already told you that," he pointed out calmly.

"Uh, right." She smiled, bemused. A relationship with Cole was _definitely_ going to take a bit of getting used to. "Let me just go change."  


Cole smiled as she retreated, shaking his head. She was behaving even more strangely than was typical of her. His smile widened and his eyes drifted shut as he imagined what it would be to hold her in his arms for uninterrupted hours. He nodded, knowing that he had made the right decision in coming back for her. As if he had ever really had another choice. He opened his eyes as Mel returned to the bedroom, looking radiant, if a little unsure.

"Um… _yeah_. We still need to figure out what you're going to lie down in."

"Why not my clothes?" he asked.

Mel shook her head. "Not in bed, Cole. It's not done." She shrugged, resigning herself to the inevitable, reminding herself that it was a good thing, something she had wanted for a very long time. "Just… take them off," she said softly.

"My clothes?" Cole asked, frowning. Mel _always_ made him wear his clothes.

"Yeah," Mel said, nodding and suddenly wishing that she was wearing a _lot_ less. "You can keep your briefs on, but the shirt and pants need to go."

"Yes, Mel." Cole shrugged and stripped off the offending articles.

"Okay," Mel said with a shaky nod, turning down the bed and trying not to look at his gorgeous body. "Hop in." _Jeez, Mel, could you _be _more romantic?_ she wondered, grinning and climbing into bed.

Cole watched for a moment, then followed suit, not entirely believing his own good fortune. "I can really hold you in my arms?" he asked eagerly as they climbed under the covers. "All night?"

She smiled and nodded. "If you want. Or you can go earlier if you want," she added, knowing that it might be boring to just lie there all night.

"Why would I want that?" he asked, regarding her and trying to determine how best to go about taking her into his arms.

Mel shook her head at that statement, grinning. She regarded him curiously for a moment, bemused by the look on his face. "You've got that look you get when you're coming up with strategy," she informed him.

"I am."

  
"You are?" she repeated, grinning and shaking her head. 

"Yes, Mel. I am trying to come up with the best way to… hold you." He shrugged.

She turned off the light and slid across the bed. "Don't try to come up with a strategy for it, Cole," she whispered into his bare chest. "Just put your arms around me and kiss me goodnight."

He shivered at the feel of her breath against his bare skin, but complied with her request, gripping her gently. "Yes, Mel." He paused for a moment, frowning thoughtfully in the darkness. "You really want me to kiss you?" he asked finally, amazed with his own luck.

"At least ten times a day from now on," she told him firmly.

"Yes, Mel," he repeated eagerly, finding her face in the darkness by touch, hesitantly exploring with his fingertips for several moments before he lowered his face to hers.

Mel smiled at the first touch of his hands on her face. She closed her eyes as his fingertips tenderly traced every contour of her face before turning to her lips. She expected the kiss then, but was not entirely disappointed when he gently brushed his fingers over her lips several more times, tracing their shape, applying gentle pressure, exploring, before he slowly lowered his face to hers. Even then, he did not immediately kiss her, but gently brushed his cheek against hers, then his lips. Mel held still throughout this but, by the time his lips finally made their way to hers, her entire body was trembling with the effort. When their lips met, she returned the kiss almost frantically, clutching his body to hers.

Cole applied himself to the kiss itself as conscientiously as he applied himself to every new task, but he felt remarkably shy as he did so. This was different than their first kiss had been, her body more yielding against his, her response more eager and… inviting. Mel's unusual lack of restraint confused him, made him more hesitant but, at the same time, left him wanting much more. Still tracing her face with one hand, he slid the other slowly down her neck, tracing the hollow of her throat. He was finally forced to pull away, his breath ragged, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

"Like that, Mel?" he panted after a moment.

"Exactly like that, Cole," came her shaky reply. She laughed softly, shaking her head. If that was any example of the sort of lover he would turn out to be… "_Exactly_ like that at least ten times a day," she breathed, nodding.

Cole smiled, pleased with this requirement, and slid his arms around her again. "Yes, Mel. You should get some sleep now."

"_Sleep_?" she laughed. "You kiss me like that and then you tell me to _sleep_?"

"Your body requires rest, Mel," he told her gently.

That kiss had left her body feeling like it required a lot more than rest, but she nodded and sighed. She knew that if she did not go to sleep soon he was going to do that thing with his hand that had a habit of leaving people unconscious for eight, ten hours. Not that having his hand on her face was a bad thing, as she had just discovered, just… not in that context.

"Okay, I'll sleep, just… touch me."

"I _am_ touching you Mel," he replied, confused.

Mel grinned and shook her head, taking one of his hands off of his back and moving it to cup her cheek. "Like you _were_, Cole."

He smiled and nodded. "Yes, Mel." He caressed her face for a few moments, then his hand stilled. "For how long, Mel?"

"Forever," she breathed, smiling and closing her eyes. "Or until you don't want to any more."

"All night?" he asked, running his fingers over her lips again.

"Mmm… If you want." She smiled as his fingers paused over her lips as she spoke. "You know, for a guy from a species without physical sensation, you sure are a toucher," she remarked.

"Cirronians do _not_ know what they are missing, Mel. Touch is an _amazing_ sensation…" He sighed happily. "Especially skin against the skin of another. It's different than skin against your own skin. Why, Mel?" he asked, continuing to trace her face lovingly, memorizing with his hands what he had long since memorized with his eyes and heart. The sensation truly was an amazing one.

"Mmm," she breathed, smiling. "Because sensation is… it's accompanied by emotions. It… is _intensified_ by emotions, and it intensifies them."

"Yes, Mel," he agreed quietly. "It does." He paused for a moment. "Cirronians only _have_ emotions to go on. It was confusing at first, trying to deal with both at once. Especially…"

She frowned as he stopped speaking and his hand stilled on her face. "Especially when, Cole?"

"When I was trying to convince myself that I couldn't possibly be in love with you." He pulled her against his chest with both hands again, holding her securely, not _ever_ wanting to release her. "I think this body knew how I felt in my heart before my mind did. It felt so nice to have your hands on me, or your body near me or _touching_ mine… It seemed so _wrong_ to me."

"Why?" she asked gently. She could feel the tension in his entire body as he spoke, and was concerned by it.

"I didn't think I had a _right_ to be happy any more after Nallia died, but… I never really let myself mourn her, either, just threw myself into work and… I was numb and angry for so many years. I stopped realizing that there was any other way to be." He sighed deeply. "I couldn't reconcile it with the way you made me feel, so I told myself that I could enjoy your touch… as long as I didn't care about you."

Mel's eyes widened in the darkness, but she was too stunned to react otherwise. It was a startling admission, totally out of keeping with the Cole she thought she knew. No, she corrected herself firmly, the Cole she _did_ know. He would _not_ have come back to her, given up everything he had ever known, if it had just been physical.

"But that was a bigger lie," he sighed, confirming what Mel had suspected. "Because I cared _first_. I cared when I wept over your body. I cared when Zin ripped the _life_ from you… I cared when your compassion for me overcame your fear of me and you took me into your car and your home and your heart in spite of the fear you _still_ felt. After Tev, I stopped being able to deny that."

Cole paused for a moment before continuing. "Mel, I wept over your dead body on the second day we knew each other, but… I had never allowed myself to weep for Nallia or Ashi. Cirronians don't cry, but they mourn. I didn't though. I wouldn't _let_ myself. Not until I met you. When I found that I could care again, _then_ I mourned. But not before." He shook his head. "You freed me to move beyond their deaths, to celebrate their lives. Do you remember the nightmares you had after Tev?"

"You knew about those?" she whispered, frowning.

"After you explained to me about hugs, I held you in my arms every night for a month," he admitted.

Mel's frown faded. The nightmares had always gone as abruptly as they had started, replaced in an instant by a sense of warmth and security, of love. And, occasionally, she would 'dream' of Cole holding her in his arms and crooning softly to her, comforting her. "_Now_ I remember," she whispered, smiling up at him. It had happened after Tev, and with every bad dream she had experienced since, courtesy of her own Cirronian guardian-angel. "And after I told you that my bedroom was off-limits, too," she teased, shaking her head.

"I didn't care about restrictions when I heard your cries for help and felt your life-force calling out for comfort. Not the first time, not any time after that."

  
"Well, Cole, thank you for not paying attention to me," she laughed softly.

"And… after Rod… When you cried for him in the night, I would hold you in my arms and I would cry for Nallia and Ashi."

"That's when you started to change," she realized abruptly, smiling.

"Yes, Mel." He smiled faintly. "When _we_ started to change."

  
"I was like you," Mel admitted, nodding. "I never gave myself a real chance to mourn. I was numb for so long. I mean, I _dated_, but I never let myself care."

"It was scary, Mel. I felt so much, so _fast_…"

"I know. How do you deal with that? How do you _not_?"

"I wanted to push you away again, but… How do you deny a feeling that is so strong that the entire world must be able to feel it, too?" 

"You ignore it until you _can't_ ignore it any more." Mel sighed and shook her head. "I understood that work was always first, so I ignored it. But the night I taught you to dance, I spent three hours taking a cold shower."

"Why?" he asked quizzically.

She smiled faintly. "It's a thing humans do. It's supposed to help get rid of physical desire or something."

"I wish I'd known about that at the time. I spent the entire night curled up in a ball on the floor of the war-room shaking."

"And I thought I had it bad." She shook her head. "So basically we've both spent almost the last year making ourselves miserable by pretending that there's nothing when there's actually a hell of a lot?"

"Yes, Mel." Cole smiled. "We're idiots, Mel."

"Complete and total morons." Mel buried her face in his chest, laughing.

"Don't do that, Mel," he requested, gently pushing her away.

"Why?" she asked, surprised.

"Because, you need to sleep and I'm not in the mood for a cold shower."

"You made a joke!" she laughed.

He smiled. "Yes, Mel. But you _do_ need to sleep."

Mel sighed. "Okay, fine. But one more kiss first?"  


"Then we'll both need a cold shower," he pointed out, grinning.

"Well, we could always take a not-so-cold shower together," she suggested with a grin.

"Why, Mel?" he asked curiously. "I thought--"

"You really _do _have a lot to learn," she muttered.

Cole frowned for a moment, then smiled widely. "Oh!" he said, his surprise obvious in his voice as the idea fell into place for him.

Mel giggled helplessly at that response, tears spilling down her face.

"What?" Cole asked innocently, sending her into further gales of laughter.

"My God, Cole!" she gasped, shaking her head.

He smiled at her behavior, hugging her tightly. "You are a strange creature, Mel…"

"So are you!" she retorted, laughing.

"Get some sleep, Mel."

"How am I supposed to sleep when--"

Cole shook his head and gently moved his hand over her face, putting her to sleep. "_Strange_ creature," he whispered, arranging her neatly on the bed next to him and shaking his head. He caressed her face, memorizing every contour, for almost an hour before stretching out again himself and drawing her gently into his arms. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to become lost in reflections of what it was going to be like to spend the rest of his life with Mel.


	2. Rude Awakening

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Author's Note: Bendal is a character who appeared in the original Tracker "bible" but never actually made it into the series… Just guessing on what Nodulians actually look like. Eijan and the others, as well as Migar's current political situation, are just figments of my own screwed-up imagination.

Chapter 2 -- Rude Awakening

Mel woke with a smile as memories of the previous night filled her. "Good morning, Cole," she murmured. 

"Good afternoon, Mel," he replied in a cheerful voice, snuggling closer and nuzzling her throat.

"It is?" she yawned, opening her eyes. 

"Yes, Mel."

"How long was I asleep."  


"Ten hours."

"You did that thing. With your hand… to put me to sleep."  


"Yes, Mel." He nodded.

She sighed and shook her head. "You need to stop doing that without permission."

"Yes, Mel. May I kiss you now, Mel?"

"Okay, Cole, now _that_ you do not need to ask permission for…"

Cole smiled widely and leaned over her, kissing her in his gentle, firm way for several minutes. "One down," he whispered as he pulled away. 

Leaning over her, his hands resting on either side of her slender body, Cole smiled in his unabashed way. Mel's eyes traveled from his face to his chest, so close it was almost touching her own. Just enough room between them for a hand, she decided, lifting hers to his chest and running it slowly across the rock-hard expanse of _very_ warm flesh. When he did not seem immediately inclined to move from his position, she continued caressing him like that. Her fingers absently traced the lines of his muscles and she felt him shiver in spite of the heat of his body.

"Nine to go," she murmured, winking up at.

"At least," he amended, his entire body flushing at the thought of at least nine more kisses like that one, more gentle caresses from Mel, _more_… 

Mel bit her lower lip, amused by his amendment. She felt the amount of heat pouring off of him abruptly increase and, as much as she wanted him, felt a little intimidated, too. "You hungry?" she asked, needing time to compose herself.

"Yes, Mel."

"Okay, tell you what. You go into the war-room and get me my waffle-iron back and I'll make us a huge breakfast."

"Yes, Mel." He rose and pulled her to her feet and into his arms, smiling down at her. 

She smiled back up at him, liking his new way of acting around her. She felt more like a giddy, love-struck teen than anything right now, and found that she did not mind that in the least. She caressed his chest, reflecting that she could definitely get used to this state of affairs.

Cole pulled away reluctantly. "I'll get the waffle-iron. We should eat before we do anything else."

"Anything else?" she repeated, raising an eyebrow at him as he pulled on his slacks.

"Yes, Mel," he said, smiling a little shyly at her. "I have a lot to learn about… being human. You're going to have to show me." 

He glanced at Mel with wide, anxious eyes and she suddenly realized exactly _which_ aspect of human life he was requesting instruction in. Without even realizing it, Cole seemed to have mastered the art of the innuendo. He was asking her to teach him about…

"Being human," she repeated, grinning. Something told her that it was going to be a long and tiring but _incredibly_ rewarding day. The first of many. "Maybe after I've taught you all about… being human, you can teach me a thing or two about being Cirronian?" she suggested, grinning shyly at him.

Cole felt his body flush again at that thought and nodded gravely. "I'd like that very much, Mel."

"Thought you might." She walked past him into the hallway. "Go get me my waffle-iron," she said over her shoulder. "I'll be in the kitchen."

"Yes, Mel." Cole smiled and nodded, vanishing into the war-room as she entered the kitchen.

She was pulling out the big mixing-bowl when she heard a horrified shout in a language that had definitely not originated on earth. "Cole!" she called, worried, running to the war-room. Cole _never_ raised his voice.

He met her at the door, looking stricken. "Mel," he whispered, tears in his eyes, pulling her into his arms and cradling her against his bare chest.

"Cole, what's wrong?" she whispered, reaching up and stroking his face gently, smoothing away his tears and doing her best to comfort him with her touch the way he had always comforted her with his. "What happened, honey?" she asked gently.

"Look… at the screen," he whispered, shaking his head and closing his eyes.

Mel looked, her jaw dropping at the several hundred blue blips covering the map, each representing a fugitive life-force. "No…" she whispered, tightening her grip on Cole and burying her face in his chest and sobbing. "How?"

"I don't know, Mel," he whispered. "I don't… I don't understand. I _brought them back_…" He moaned softly, shaking his head against the reality of their situation.

They held on to each other for what could have been minutes or hours, before the were startled back to reality by a voice filtering over one of the computer's speakers.

"Daggon? _Daggon?_ Kedriss Daggon?" There was more after that, in an undeniably alien tongue.

"Bendal!" Cole said, looking up quickly. "He'll know what has happened. Excuse me, Mel," he added, stepping around her to the computer. He quickly typed a few commands on the keyboard, activating a translation matrix, and spoke into the microphone. "Here, Bendal. I'm here."

  
"Daggon! This is… there aren't words…"

"I know, Bendal, I know." Cole nodded. "I know _what_ has happened, I just do not know _how_… Can you tell me how?"

"Who's Bendal?" Mel asked.

"Eijan's security second," Cole told her. "Eijan was made Warden on Sar-Top after I went AWOL."

"You went AWOL?" Mel frowned. She had always assumed that he had been under orders to follow Rhee to Earth, or at least that he had been given _permission…_

"Daggon, who are you talking to?" Bendal asked.

"Melanie Porter, the Terrestrial woman I told you about." Cole typed in some more commands. "Hang on, I'm going to beam you in…"

"Understood."

"Beam him in?" Mel repeated, gaping.

"Only his image, Mel. Nodulians communicate far more fluently visually, like Cirronians."

"Right, whatever."

"So, I finally get to see what a Terrestrial looks like, Daggon?"

Cole smiled faintly. "If' I can ever get this damned thing to work…" he grumbled, hitting keys far harder than was strictly necessary.

"Damned? What is that?"

"Never mind, Bendal! Where is Eijan?"

"Coordinating recovery attempts all over the system! After you left, another ship… _Kree!_"

"Swearing will _not_ help, my friend," Cole said into the speaker. "One moment… There." He gave a satisfied nod as a three-dimensional image appeared in the center of the war-room.

Mel gave a startled yelp and jumped backwards, flattening herself against a wall. The 'person' whose hologram had just appeared in her apartment had four short legs, gills, gray rubbery skin, _flippers_, iris-less black eyes, and a pronounced snout. It blinked in Mel's direction.

"Excitable creature, is it?" Bendal asked, his gills flapping in amusement. 

Cole smiled faintly. "You get used to the way the species looks," he assured both Mel _and_ Bendal.

"It has so much_ fur_!" Bendal protested, tilting his head at Mel. Flippers shivered as he took in the half-dressed Cirronian. "So do _you,_ Daggon… In fact, you seem to have more than it does… Is that fur on your _face_?" he demanded. "_And_ your torso?" he added, disgusted.

"Bendal, the escape?" Cole asked, raising his hands to chest-level and splaying his fingers.

Mel glanced at Cole, realizing that he was moving his hands a lot more when he spoke, obviously conveying more than he was with his voice, or perhaps simply supplementing or emphasizing his words the way humans sometimes did. He had said that Nodulians communicated better visually. Obviously whatever software he was using to translate was not perfect and worked better in tandem with body-language. Or perhaps that made it more perfect… 

As her initial shock wore off, she decided that Nodulians were not that bad-looking or even that _alien_-looking. In spite of his obvious agitation, Bendal wore a dolphin-like grin. A _lot_ about him was reminiscent of the aquatic mammal, actually. Bendal kept curious eyes fixed on Mel as he spoke, supplementing his words with flipper-gestures, gill-movements, and facial expressions.

"It was late last night, after you left… The primary shields went down for routine maintenance…"

"_Still?_" Cole demanded, making an angry-looking gesture. "The procedure was supposed to _change_ after the first escape!" He pointed at the Nodulian. "You and Eijan are _far_ too intelligent to allow something like this to happen again, Bendal!" he shouted.

Bendal went up on his hind legs, defensive. "The procedures _did_ change!" he shouted, adding a high-pitched, dolphin-like _squeeing_ sound to the end of the sentence. "Three shields with rotating maintenance schedules, never more than one down at a time…"

  
"Then how did a ship penetrate the other two shields?" Cole asked in a low voice, closing his eyes.

"We have no _squeeing_ clue…"

"Could you watch your language, please?" Cole demanded, gesturing towards Mel. "And… give me an anatha sequence of events…" He shook his head in frustration.

"There are probably three people in the entire Migar Federation who are smart enough to pull something like this off, Daggon. Alicia, who we can pretty definitively factor _out_ of the equation since she's one of the good guys. _Lana_, who has been missing for better than five years now…"

"And Zin…" Cole sighed, shaking his head.

"So it must have been this Lana person, right?" Mel asked softly.

"Or Zin is no longer trapped in your Vault," Bendal sighed.

"Which means he was never, truly trapped," Cole breathed. "_Anatha!_" he shouted, knocking what was left of a blender onto the floor.

Mel and Bendal both recoiled, startled by the uncharacteristic display of anger.

"I need to check the Vault," Cole said finally, in a tightly controlled voice.

"Daggon," Bendal said softly. "The Migar Security Council is _not_ pleased."

"Imagine that," Cole muttered. "What does Alicia say?" he asked, shaking his head.

"That the squall-line has made landfall."

From his tone of voice, Mel suspected that this was the Nodulian's way of saying that the shit had just hit the fan. Not that she really needed to be told that with the look on Cole's face. A second escape? So soon after the first batch had been returned? Not only had the 'squall-line made landfall', but heads were going to roll for sure.

Cole closed his eyes and covered his mouth with one hand. He grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of Bendal's image, nodding. "Where is the blame going to fall?" he asked in a low voice, rubbing the back of his neck. "Does she know _that_?"

Bendal's eyes closed. "Eijan and I _may_ make it out of this with our jobs in-tact but there are people trying to blame you for both escapes, saying you went mad after Nallia died, pointing up your old friendship with Zin… Alicia is doing what she can, but the odds are very good that one of the four of us is going to end up with a neurodebilitator and half our life-force in a storage-unit. The SST is flowing with the rip-tide on this, and unless we can conclusively prove that it was Zin or Lana…"

"You get me _five_ minutes with Etala…" Cole began in a low voice. "I _will_ get you your proof."

"Etala is missing, too. We took her into custody after you returned with proof of Zin's culpability and she was among the escapees."

"Wonderful!" Cole snapped.

"Oh, it gets better. Her life-force was still in-tact."

Without taking his eyes from Bendal, Cole said, "Mel, may I please have some alcohol?" 

"Yeah. I'll, um… get us both a glass. And a dust-pan."

"You're drinking again?" Bendal asked when she was gone.

"I am now…"

"Daggon, we _need_ you in top form."

"And I need _you_ to get me Lana. If Etala was on Varda until you took her into custody, then she was _not_ involved anywhere along the line or she would have gone to ground the _instant_ that I returned."

"Gone to ground?" Bendal repeated, blinking.

"Vanished like a Dessarian at midnight." Cole shook his head. "Have Eijan transmit me a list of the escapees. Right now, specifically, I need to know if the Nodulian Kres was involved. He owes me a favor."

Bendal shook his head. "No, not this time. We made special note of the initial escapees who did not escape this time. There were… seven." Bendal reeled off the list.

"And Aiko was the only Dessarian?" Cole asked as Mel returned with a bottle of scotch and two glasses.

"Yes."

"Thank you, Mel," Cole said, accepting a glass. "Nestov is back, too," he told her in a low voice.

"This time you are _not_ keeping me from Collecting his sorry… life-force."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Mel," Cole assured her grimly, taking a long drink. "How long do I have?" Cole asked Bendal with a sigh.

"Not long. We both lost a _lot_ of our credibility with the SST when you pulled your little vanishing-act. Right now, Alicia and Eijan are the _only_ two people standing between us and life terms for treason."

"Wonderful." Cole sighed. "And they're losing ground just for supporting us if they're the only ones."

"Exactly."

Cole closed his eyes, thinking. "I need Lana."

  
"Unless she's already on Terra, I can't get her to you…"

  
"Then I need Alicia or Tallinn… or…" Cole sighed deeply, aware that his list of trusted friends was growing small indeed, and that neither Alicia _nor_ Tallinn was really in the best position to help him from his end. "Nallyn? Can you get _her_ to earth?"

"She's a _sociologist_, Daggon!"

"She's also one of the few people we have left to trust," Cole pointed out, sighing. "The Dessarians laying odds on this yet?" he asked.

"Safe money's on Lana, but Zin is becoming less of a long-shot every day. 100 to 1 that it was Zin _and_ Lana. Last night it was 200 to 1."

"I'm sorry, is betting on the ponies actually _helping_?" Mel asked, shaking her head.

"What is 'ponies'?" Bendal asked.

"Like a nak-jan, Bendal," Cole told him absently. "And yes, Mel, it might. Dessarians are very good with numbers." He frowned thoughtfully. "Lana vanished… five years ago?" Cole asked.

Bendal nodded. "Yes." 

"And before that she studied physics under Zin?"

"Common knowledge. She's almost as good as he is."

"Call up your files on Etala and Zin. Look for unexplained expenditures in the last five years."

"Zin's records are _full_ of unexplained expenditures!" Bendal protested.

"Not like this one." Cole shook his head. "It's large, almost what Zin was funneling back through to Etala for _her_ research, and constant over the last five years, possibly an expenditure in the form of precious metals or energy as opposed to actual money. And get me _every_ thermal scan of Terra you can get your hands on." He rose, pushing the chair away and pacing the war-room. "I'm looking for _any_ unexplained dip at this co-ord in the past month."

"Wormhole activity? At your habitation, Daggon?"

"_Under_ it, Bendal. Several klicks _under_ it. My regards to Eijan, Alicia, and Tallinn. And my love to Nallyn, if you would. Oh, and empty my credit-account and place it _all_ on Zin/Lana."

"I'm on it," the Nodulian announced, his image fading.

"A wormhole into the Vault," Mel whispered, sighing.

Cole nodded, rising and draining his glass. "Mel, do we have a sledge-hammer?"

"What do you want with a sledge-hammer?" Mel asked quietly, eyeing the broken glass on the floor.

Cole picked up the dust-pan and swept up the mess. "To test a theory."


	3. Two of a Kind

****

Chapter 3 -- Two of a Kind

"Tell me about Lana?" Mel asked quietly, looking around the large room.

"She's a young Vardian woman. Studied under Zin when she was in college." Cole ran his hands over the door to the Vault as he spoke, a slight glow evident where they passed. His voice was even softer than usual, but the underground chamber had an amplifying effect so that every word of his quiet speech was clearly audible to Mel even though his back was to her and she was several meters away. "She vanished about five years ago, shortly after her graduation. She was brilliant, Mel, second only to Zin, maybe _more_ intelligent, and she _worshipped_ the man. I've never seen such dedication from a Vardian before. Some rumors called him her father, others said they were secretly mates. _Damn!_" he shouted abruptly.

Mel jumped, startled as the abrupt shout echoed off the walls and ceiling, magnifying itself exponentially in sharp contrast to his earlier tone. "What?" she asked, shifting uncomfortably as the last echoes died away.

Cole picked up the sledge-hammer in one hand and swung it in an arc over his head, slamming it into the Vault's door, which crumbled effortlessly under the impact. "Wormhole," he muttered, staring into the empty Vault and shaking his head. "Degrades the molecular structure of most metallic compounds. It's why the weapon couldn't be safely transported through… the containment wouldn't have held."

Mel walked to his side and touched the crumbling metal, frowning as more crumbled away under her touch, its consistency like sand. She pushed with both hands on either side of the hole Cole had punched into the door and nearly fell into the Vault as most of the door crumbled away under the light pressure. Cole's hands shot out and gently caught her.

"It does this to metal and _people_ go through them?" she whispered, straightening.

Cole shrugged. "It's far safer for organic materials to pass through." He smacked the palm of his hand against what was left of the door, well away from the hole, and left a hand-shaped imprint. He blinked. Stray radiation from the wormhole should have left the metal far more fragile than that. Frowning, he began walking around the room, tapping the wall gently with his fist at intervals, muttering numbers to himself. He shook his head. "How do the humans say it? The student has surpassed the teacher?" 

It was Lana, had to be. She was the only person in the Migar Federation good enough to achieve such a specific terminus. Zin _might_ have been able to come close, but not from inside the Vault. Once he had documented this, Bendal and Eijan would be exonerated. This was basically proof that Zin and Zin's people were behind his escape from the Vault and all that had followed because, in the entire Alliance, only Zin and his select circle of confederates had both the knowledge and the resources. His own innocence in this insanity might be somewhat more difficult to prove, but not by much. He was going to have to rely on his own previously exemplary service-record and his hard work and ingenuity in capturing the fugitives the first time to speak to his character. They would have a far harder time calling him a traitor now. He might never be fully trusted by the Security Council, but that hardly mattered to him any more, not now that his life was to be on Earth. Besides, the stakes had abruptly gotten a lot higher than proving _anyone's_ guilt or innocence.

Mel nodded. "Yeah, that's a human phrase. Why?"

"This is the most perfect wormhole I've ever seen, Mel. It was precisely centered over the door, only large enough for one or two people… Almost _no_ stray radiation…" He rested both hands against the wall, leaning into it, his head hanging. "This is how the second escape happened," he whispered. "It _must_ be. This is how Zin's mercenaries have been getting here… A wormhole like this, Mel… it would take almost no energy to maintain once it was established…" He shook his head, staggered by this realization and its consequences. "Sar-Top is completely vulnerable, I could use remote-Collection 100 times and have nothing but several thousand dead humans to show for it…"

"Cole, I'm so sorry," Mel whispered, resting her hands on his broad shoulders. This was _never_ going to be over. Tears in her eyes, she slid her arms around him and rested her cheek against his back.

He pulled out of her grasp and turned to face her, gathering her into his arms, his tears mingling with her own. "All I wanted was to retire from all of this, live and die by your side. Now I have to start all over… Fight them, alone. Alone, again…"

"Not alone. I'll help you, Cole, if you'll show me how. We'll get through this like we've gotten through every other obstacle Zin has thrown our way." She touched his cheek gently. "_Together_, there is nothing we can not face," she told him firmly, meaning it.

He smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Mel." He held her close for several more minutes before sighing and pulling away. "I need to send a report to Eijan now."

"You guys aren't in trouble any more, are you?" she asked softly, following. It was, at least, something.

"Bendal and the others are in less trouble now, yes, Mel."

"What about you?"  


"Everyone knows that Zin and I were good friends for many years."

"Guilt by association? Come on, that can't actually hold up in a court?"

Cole shook his head. "Probably not, but I _would_ be required to return to Cirron to stand trial, and there's the fact that I left my post without permission. And they would probably wish for an impartial Tracker on Earth, one without a connection to Zin _or_ any humans, one they knew would follow orders more readily."

"They wouldn't let you come back, would they?" she whispered. 

"Probably not." He shook his head, his expression pained. "And if I disobeyed a direct order to return to Cirron or not return to Earth… they would send the Security Taskforce to _bring_ me back."

"In a Collector?" Mel whispered.

Cole swallowed and nodded. 

***

"It's good news for all of us, Daggon," the Enxian told him in a gentle voice. As an Enixian, her appearance might have been incredibly unpleasant, but her gentle, melodic voice was beautiful to Mel, especially when she told Cole, "And I'll do what lies in my power to see that you maintain your position as Tracker for the planet called Terra. The odds are good that you will be allowed to."

"Thank you, Warden Eijan." Cole smiled and inclined his head politely. It was a relief. He smiled at Mel, noticing that much of the tension had left her features as well.

"Nallyn sends you all love and would like to know if it will be possible to establish formal diplomatic ties with the planet, a proper extradition treaty for starters."

"Probably _not_," Mel said quietly.

"Why ever not, Terrestrial?"

"Um, it's _human_, and my name's Mel."

"Mel," Eijan repeated slowly, accustoming herself to the strange sound. "Why not, Mel?"

"Um… most of the governments on this planet--"

"You have more than one?" Eijan interrupted, startled.

"They have _dozens_," Cole contributed. "Many hostile to each other. Many more potentially hostile towards non-humans."

"Sorry," Mel added with a shrug.

Eijan sighed. "I see. Well, perhaps in another few generations, then."

"What is to be done about the security situation on Sar-Top?" Cole asked.

Eijan sighed again. "Actual cells. It is the only way, I'm afraid, until the Ministries of Science can find a way to defend against the wormhole threat on that large a scale" She paused for a long moment. "There are those saying that prison planets are no longer sufficient deterrents to crime. There's talk of bringing back capital punishments with a three to three split on the issue in the Council. If it comes to a vote, the Nodulians may not remain in opposition in the face of Vardian pressure…"

Cole shook his head. "Cirron will secede before it comes to living in a Federation that allows such things. The Council must realize that?"

"And Enix _will_ stand by your people in such an event, Daggon, but it _could_ come to war with Varda and Orsus." 

"What about the Nodulians and Dessarians?" Mel asked.

"Their positions are less clear. They could come out on either side, or sit the conflict out completely," Eijan told her. "It would not matter. Cirron and Enix are _not_ militant worlds, our people are not soldiers. They would not stand a chance, _especially_ if Zin recovers the ancient weapon. Nodul and Dessaria _would_ be next, no matter _who_ they sided with and Varda would eventually turn on Orsus. After that, with Zin and Lana on their side, no sentient species in the universe would be safe."

"The stakes just got a _lot_ higher," Mel whispered. "How does _one man_ destabilize an entire solar-system?"

"With a great deal of planning, no doubt," Eijan breathed. "And likely much more support from his government than they would have us believe."

"You think this was the plan all along?" Mel asked, wide-eyed.

"I need a drink," Cole muttered, shaking his head.

"Are you drinking again, Daggon?" Eijan asked.

"Like a Nodulian." He nodded.

"We need you at your best down there."

"So I've heard." Cole shook his head. "End transmission."

"Drinking _again_?" Mel repeated, frowning. "I didn't know you _ever _drank…"

"After Rhee… I couldn't moderate myself any more. Zin and Kallissa made me quit." He shrugged. 

  
"So maybe starting up again is a bad idea," Mel suggested gently.

"Probably. Along with quitting my teaching job, becoming a Tracker, falling in love, transferring to Sar-Top, falling in love _again_…" He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. "What am I going to do now?" he whispered.

"I don't know, Cole, but we'll figure something out," she promised, squeezing his shoulder.

He looked up at her slowly. "I haven't felt his helpless since…"

  
"Ashi and Nallia." Mel nodded. "I know, but… we _need_ to catch Zin. Now more than ever…" she told him gently, sensing his dejection.

He shook his head, feeling defeated. "I can't do this alone."  


"You _won't_ be alone," Mel assured him. "You have me, and Eijan and Bendal, and…"

"Alicia and Tallinn and Nallyn." Cole nodded. "I know." He sighed and shook his head. "For all the good a pair of bureaucrats and a sociologist can do…"

"Well, a hell of a lot as far as preventing a civil war goes. Tell me about them. You never talk about your old life." Mel pulled a chair next to the one he was sitting in. "Who's Nallyn?"

"My sister-in-law. We taught together. She was a wonderful friend to me and… she introduced me to Nallia." Cole smiled faintly. "They were born together, twins. Not… not identical like Orsusians. They didn't even have similar _personalities_ but… they adored each other. They were very close. I gain a wife and a sister at the same time when I married Nallia, and their family became mine."

Mel smiled. "Must have been great, being so close to your in-laws." 

Cole nodded. "Yes, Mel. My own parents were dead, so Nallia's family… it was almost like they adopted me. I mean, I was an adult already, but their parents were there for me all the time, supporting me emotionally, helping us out financially in the beginning, and her brothers and Nallyn just naturally came to view me as a brother. Tallinn, he was Nallyn's husband. He was… arbiter? He mediated disputes within his community."

Mel nodded. "An arbiter, yeah." 

Cole nodded. "Yes, and he had a large family of his own. The two families had always been close, more like one big family. It was how Tallinn and Nallyn came to know each other. And Tallinn's family accepted me as another member of Nallyn's, so we were all very close."

She smiled at the idea of having such a huge extended family. Other than her father and grandmother, Mel had never really known any members of her family, and now she realized that she knew even less about them than she had assumed. 

"And where does Alicia fit into this big, happy family of yours?" she inquired.

Cole flushed faintly, bowing his head. 

"Touchy subject?" Mel guessed.

Cole shook his head, smiling. "No, just so many memories. Alicia was my first teacher in college, before I was a teacher. I adored her, even though she was old enough to be my mother." He shrugged. "Actually, she was a bit older than my mother, I think, but I adored her all the same, like Lana with Zin."  


"You had a crush on her?" Mel realized, smiling.

"A crush? Childish attraction?" At Mel's nod, Cole smiled and gave a nod of her own. "Yes, I did. I… I wanted her to take me as a second mate."

"Her first mate was dead?"

"Oh, no, Mel." Cole shook his head, chuckling softly. "He was very much alive. I just didn't care. I was young and full of foolish ideas. I thought that if it worked for Orsusians and Enixians, why not Cirronians?"

"My boyfriend the polygamist," Mel laughed, shaking her head.

"_Aspiring_ polygamist, Mel," he corrected her, smiling. His smile faded abruptly. "Your boyfriend," he whispered, sighing deeply.

"Damn," Mel whispered as realization set in. 

Once again, a physical relationship was impossible for them, and for exactly the same reasons. Now that Cole had the fugitives to worry about again, he was going to be as reluctant as before to have that kind of relationship with Mel again, fearful of getting 'distracted', of losing focus, of losing her the way he had lost Nallia and Ashi. So much for their happily-ever-after.

"I'm so sorry. I…" He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "I was going to ask you to marry me," he confessed quietly.

Mel covered her mouth with one hand. He had been on the verge of _proposing_, and now he would not because of _them_. She hoped that she would have a chance at Zin. She wanted to make his Collection slow and incredibly painful, the bastard.

"Would you have said yes?"

She nodded, biting her lip. "In a heartbeat."

"Will you wait?"

"Yes," she whispered, tears in her eyes. "For as long as it takes. But… this time you have to let me help you more. I _need_ to be by your side, Cole."

"I worry so much, though…"

"I worry too, Cole, about you, out there alone." Mel sighed and shook her head. "I did it once, I can do it again. Teach me how to fight and how to use my powers and let me _help_ you. Like I did when Zin was in here."

Cole nodded slowly, knowing that if he did not agree she would try to do it on her own. "Eijan taught me how to be a Tracker, just as my parents taught me to be a Cirronian. I will do my best to teach you how to be _both_, Mel, but it will _not_ be easy, not for either of us. You must understand this and be patient."

"Patience has never been my strong-suit," she pointed out quietly, sighing deeply. "One more thing I need to learn, huh?"

"It's a good place to start, Mel," he told her gently, taking her hands in his. "The more you can learn to simply _accept_ that which is, what you have within you, the more you will be able to use your Cirronian abilities. The better at that you become, the better you will be at Tracking."

She nodded. "How do we start?" 

"With that which is." He rose and offered her his hands. "Now, if you'd like."

"Hey, no time like the present." Mel accepted his hands, allowing him to pull her to her feet. "So, how do we start?" she asked.

He hesitated, but only for a moment. "We start… as all children start out, Mel. In the dark."


	4. Shining Through

****

Chapter 4 -- Shining Through 

"In the dark," Mel repeated as they stood in her pitch-black bedroom. Every light in the apartment had been extinguished, the shades and curtains drawn, and more dark material placed over the window, assuring that the bedroom truly was _completely_ dark. "I had no idea you meant that so literally, Cole…"

"Do you humans have a creation myth?" he asked, ignoring the statement.

"Um, several. Why?"

"For Cirronians, the universe began with darkness. The Spirit of the Flame separated Herself from the Great Darkness and became Migar. But She had once been a part of that Darkness and, although distinct, She was never truly separate from Him, Mel."

Mel nodded her understanding. "Duality. Exact opposites combined to create a balanced whole."

"Yes, Mel. All beings have both light and dark within them. Not like some humans consider them, not good and evil, simply light and darkness."

"Okay." She shifted uncomfortably. It bothered her not to be able to look at a person while talking to them, and she had no idea where Cole was right now. His gentle voice filled the entire room, making him impossible to locate.

"Like the Hwa'an, Mel, the Spirit of the Flame, we all begin in darkness. That is why our lessons must begin there as well if we are to truly know ourselves."

"Um, makes sense." She looked around, trying to locate him.

"Does the darkness scare you, Mel?" he asked gently, his mouth inches from her left ear.

She jumped, startled. "Jeez! Are you trying to give me a heart-attack?" she demanded, spinning to face him only to find that he was no longer standing there. "Stop it, Cole," she said, shaking her head. "This isn't funny."

His hands grasped her shoulders lightly from behind. He could feel her discomfort, and it troubled him greatly. Without her trust, absolute and unshakable, they would be unable to accomplish anything. "It is _not_ meant to be. Is it this darkness that scares you, Mel, or is it placing yourself into the hands of another?" He took his hands from her shoulders and moved away again. 

"I… I'm not scared of the dark, Cole," she protested. "I just… I feel vulnerable right now. I… I can't see where you are or what you are doing."

"But do you trust me?" he asked gently from directly in front of her.

She reached out to touch him, but he was already gone. "Of course I do. I just wish you'd hold still!"

"No, Mel," Cole replied in the darkness, his voice grave. "You tell me that you feel vulnerable now, like this, alone with me in the darkness? Were you less vulnerable last night? Alone, with me, in the darkness?"

"That was different!"

"No, it was not. You trusted me to restrain myself in your presence and in the face of great temptation. You trusted me to do what was _right_. Do you have that same faith in me now?"

"Yes," she said, nodding. "Of course I do."

"Then give in to it. We are only _ever_ as vulnerable as we allow ourselves to be. Last night, many times in the past, you have willing made yourself vulnerable to me, as I have willingly made myself vulnerable to you. Why, Mel?"

"Because I trust you. Because you trust me."

"Then trust in me _now_," he pled quietly.

"Is that the first lesson? Trust?"

"No. Trust must exist before _anything_ can be learned."

"But I _do_ trust you!" she protested.

"Then why are you nervous now?" he pressed, again breathing the words into her ear.

She spun quickly, grabbing his arm before he could retreat. "Because I was allowing myself to be vulnerable."

Gentle fingers brushed her forehead. "But why do you feel vulnerable if you genuinely trust me?" he asked, confused.

"I… I don't…"

"Why do you feel vulnerable?" he persisted. "To what? To me?"

"No."

"To what, then?"

"To… to my own…" She shook her head, annoyed. "Cole, please," she sighed.

"Mel, this is something I need to understand about you if I am to help you. You don't trust people easily, and even once you have placed your trust in them, you still have this… _reluctance_ to… let them get… close, emotionally. Why?"

"Because I'm a huge 'friady cat?" she suggested, throwing up her hands in disgust. "It's just the way I am, okay? I don't like putting myself into other people's hands…"

"You put yourself into my hands last night," he pointed out, confused.

"That was different!" she protested again. She bit her lips as she felt strong arms gathering her into a gentle embrace.

"I don't understand this distinction you are making, Mel," he told her simply as he pulled her against him. She was uncomfortable, more than a little afraid for some reason, and very, _very_ defensive.

She sighed and rested her cheek against his chest. "I… all my life, I have had this problem with letting people in, okay?"

"In?"

"Letting them know the real me, I guess. Like I'm afraid that the minute they see the real me they'll… leave." The last word was a whisper.

"Leave?" Cole shook his head and tightened his grip on her. "Mel, I will _never _leave you. Not _ever_, not for as long as you will allow me to be a part of your life."

"But…"

"And I _do_ know the 'real you'." Cole sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head. "The first time I saw you, I started getting to know her, and she is _remarkable_. What man who knew what an amazing woman you really are would want anything other than to spend his life with you?"

"You want the list?" she asked bitterly. "Do you know how many guys I've chased off in my life, Cole? Guys get to know me and they _leave._"

"Then they were fools."

"Yeah, well, my grandmother always said I had crappy taste in guys."

"If this is true, why should you care about what they think?"

She shook her head. He was going to think she was an idiot if she actually said it out loud but, at the same time, this was _Cole._ He had always been completely honest with her and now he was asking her for the same courtesy.

"Please, Mel. You can tell me," he urged gently. " I understand that sometimes people don't always understand everything about themselves. Is that it? Do you not know?"

She nodded. "I know, Cole," she sighed. "Please… please don't…. laugh at me or anything."

"No, Mel. I could never laugh _at_ you."

She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. "Being alone scares me, okay? I _hate_ it! I've spent most of my life feeling alone, and I'd rather be in a shitty relationship, letting some jerk _use_ me, than be by myself. Okay? You happy?" she demanded.

"How could I be happy, Mel?" he whispered, horrified by her admission. "Oh, Mel…" He shook his head, his eyes swimming with tears for her.

Mel waited. There were men who would have left then and there; she had dated enough of them to know that. How would Cole, who considered marriage and sex to be sacred acts, take her confession? She had used and she had allowed herself to be used for almost half of her life. She was damaged goods and now the only man she had ever really loved _knew_ it. Which was his cue to exit, stage left.

"Never again, Mel," he whispered gently, caressing her throat. 

"You're not… angry?"

"That you have been afraid, Mel? Sad, yes, but not angry. Never angry." He shook his head. "You have lived so much of your life like this, in the darkness, but never again. It's time for you to see the Light," he told her in a low, loving voice.

"Show me," she whispered, moved to tears. He still loved her. "Show me how to see the Light."

"Yes, Mel. Lie down. Calm yourself. Can you do that?"

"I can try." She nodded and groped her way to the bed.

"Do you know how to meditate?" he asked.

"Um, not… really."

"We can start there, then," he said gently. "Lie down, Mel. Make yourself comfortable."

She nodded and slipped off her shoes before stretching out. She shifted a few times before finding a comfortable position. 

"Okay," she told him.

"Give me your hand, Mel," he directed gently, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Mel nodded and groped for his hand in the darkness. "What do I do."

"Just listen to my voice," he told her gently, taking her hand in both of his. "Do what I tell you. Don't try, don't think, just allow it to happen. Can you do that?"

"I can… try," she finished, shaking her head. He told her not to try and five seconds later, here she was, promising to try. "Do or do not, there is no 'try'," she murmured, quoting Yoda.

"Exactly, Mel," Cole agreed, smiling to himself. 

He had seen the Star Wars movies and considered the philosophy sound. _That_ philosophy, at least. Most of the philosophy in the first three actually, although the two new ones had just left him scratching his head and wondering if Lucas had not at some point been possessed by a Vardian who had decided that episodes one and two, and probably three as well, would be a good joke at the expense of the human race. It would have been typical of a Vardian. First a twenty year wait and then trying to pass those travesties off as the real thing. He had mentioned the theory to Mel recently, and she had spent some time laughing before considering it and announcing that he actually _did _have a point.

"Okay." She nodded and took a deep breath. "Let's do it."  


Cole smiled and nodded. He kept his voice low and soothing. "Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Take very deep breaths, Mel. Fill your lungs. Good, now hold that. That's good. Now exhale slowly. That's very good, Mel. Keep breathing just like that for a few minutes. Count to three every time you inhale, then count to three again while you hold that air in your lungs, then do it again as you exhale. Now count to three before you do it again. Slow and easy, Mel."

He listened to her breathing in the darkness, feeling her life-force through her hand as it gradually began to relax. The counting was slowly taking her mind off of everything except for this one bodily function, and as the stresses and anxieties of the day were gradually set aside, her body relaxed. She was not ignoring them, simply… setting them aside for a short time. Cole allowed himself to do the same, focusing all of his attention on teaching Mel.

"You're doing fine, Mel," he told her after almost half an hour. Keeping his voice as low and loving as he had when he had talked her through the first use of her Cirronian powers, he spoke. "There is energy in all things, Mel. It runs through and connects everything. People, planets, the stars, Mel. Not separate. _Pieces_. Parts of the same Whole. There is energy in you; you tapped it when you reenergized my life-force. That same energy is also all around you, Mel, and you can tap it, too. I'll show you how some day, how to feel it and direct it. For now, just accept that it is there. _Believe_ what I have told you."

"Cirronians don't lie," she murmured. "Of course I believe you…"

Cole smiled and nodded. "Good, Mel. You accept that which is. This is the first step. There is energy in the air all around you, Mel. Every time you inhale, you take some of that energy into your body. Every time you exhale, you expel some. Do you understand?"

"Think so."

"Good, Mel." Cole smiled. She was quick. He had expected nothing less. "These past days have been stressful, Mel. They have shifted the energy-fields within you. Your energy is unbalanced, Mel. The ratio of light to dark is skewed. This leads you to feel stressed and tense. So we need to shift the balance, return the equilibrium."

"How?"

"Every time you inhale, you take in energy. Every time you exhale, you expel energy," he reminded gently. "Energy is divided into the light and the dark. Dark is not bad. Light is not good. They simply are, opposing halves of the same whole. Too much of one is as bad as too much of the other. It is possible to have too much positive energy, too much of the light. In your case, though, there is too much of the dark. The symptoms are different. I can teach you later, but for now we must return you to balance."

"Okay." 

"When you inhale, focus on taking in that positive energy."

"How?"

"Imagine that you inhale a blue-white mist. And that when you exhale, that mist is black. _See _it in your mind's eye, Mel, and keep breathing as I have show you."

Mel nodded slightly and focused on visualizing the different colors of mist as Cole had suggested. As silly as it seemed, her trust in Cole allowed her to do it without hesitation. A cloud of blue mist hung in front of her mouth, and every time she inhaled, a little was sucked in. When she exhaled, the black mist quickly dissipated in the blue-white mist, like fog under the first touch of sunlight. Eyes half-closed, she could see the mists clearly, just as she could see Cole's large, strong hands gently grasping her own hand.

Which, considering that the bedroom was totally dark, _should_ have been impossible.

  
Startled, she sat up, staring at Cole with wide eyes. She could see him perfectly well, could see into the far corners of the bedroom. The whole room was bathed in a gentle, delicate, silvery-blue glow. It was not the brilliant blue-white mist she had been inhaling. It was softer, more subdued than that. Neither was it the black mist she had been exhaling, although that had carried a radiance of its own. No, this glow bathing Cole and Mel herself, her entire bedroom, was different somehow. She looked into his bottomless brown eyes, shining with approval, and suddenly understood.

It was coming from _her_, from beneath her skin. This was… this was what her life-force looked like, she realized, turning her face to the mirror. It was almost heartbreakingly beautiful, and it was _hers_. She turned to Cole again, her eyes swimming with tears, her soul filled with joy and understanding. It was as if her entire existence, her purpose in life, were suddenly perfectly clear. 

__

To illuminate, she thought to herself. _To shed light on. To illuminate. To bring understanding to._

Shaking her head, stunned by that which she felt inside of her, no longer something that she was capable of hiding or denying, she reached up with her free hand and lightly rested it over Cole's heart. Never in her life had she felt as serene as she did in this moment, and it was all because of him, all thanks to this amazing man who had entered her light like a bolt from above and proceeded, without trying, to insinuate himself into every facet of her being. She knew that she was crying, but that was okay, because he was crying too, a radiant smile on his face.

A second glow joined the silvery-blue first glow, this one a subdued golden-brown, as Cole's life-force responded to the call of Mel's. And in that moment, two souls who had spent years feeling alone knew that, come what may, they would never be alone again.


	5. One Day at a Time

****

Chapter 5 -- One Day At a Time

Cole's glow faded abruptly, leaving only Mel's. It faded as well, more gradually, and when it was gone, he gently released her hand and rose, turning on the overhead light.

"Why did you stop?" she demanded, feeling frustrated and disappointed and strangely hollow, like a piece of herself had been torn out. 

She had felt her life-force calling to his, and had felt his respond. She was not sure, but she thought that they could, in that moment, have joined in a Cirronian mating. Then she had felt Cole's fear and his life-force had withdrawn. She was about to question him further, demand an explanation, but she was stunned to silence by the look on his face. Stark disappointment and desperate loneliness. He had wanted it as badly as she had.

"I don't understand," she told him gently.

"Too soon," he told her simply.

"Because of Zin," she sighed, shaking her head.

"No, Mel. For once, not because of Zin."

She shook her head and rose, moving to stand before him. "I _really_ don't understand, then."

Cole sighed and touched her throat. "Mel, you are still more human than Cirronian in many ways. As strong as you _felt_, your life-force… it wasn't any stronger than a child's."

"But I'm not a child. I'm an adult, and I _can_ handle intimacy."

Cole shook his head. "It's not about age, Mel," he sighed. "A weak life-force… Cirronians have _died_ from mating when their life-force was unprepared, Mel. A strong life-force can overwhelm a weaker one in a joining of that magnitude. Illness or age or lack of training…" He turned his back on her, shaking his head. "If I had… I _wanted_ to, so badly. But if I had… It would have been _glorious_, Mel, for both of us, but you probably would not have survived."

Mel rested her hands on his shoulders. "Then we wait," she said softly. "We already kind of agreed to do that anyway."

Cole turned to face her, startled by her quiet acceptance. It was so… Cirronian. "You are… _radiant_," he whispered, his expression adoring.

"I'm still glowing?" she asked, looking down at her hands.

Cole laughed and shook his head. "Not glowing, just radiant. Beautiful, Mel. Beyond words." Smiling, he gathered her into his arms.

Mel smiled and returned the hug with one arm, absently caressing his chest with her free hand. "I feel… I don't know. _Different_, I guess."

"You _are_ different, Mel," Cole told her gently, freeing one hand to caress her throat. "You spent your life in darkness. Now, you are in the light. Your path will be easier to see now."

Mel nodded. "I… kind of felt that."

He smiled and nodded, resting his hand over her heart, sensing the enormous increase in the strength and steadiness of her life-force. "You have accepted that which is, Mel. Before, you were a human who happened to have some Cirronian DNA. _Now_, you are as Cirronian as I am."

Mel closed her eyes, just _feeling_ for a moment. He was right. She truly _was_ a Cirronian now, not 'part Cirronian' or 'one-quarter Cirronian', simply… Cirronian. But that was not the end of the story, either, she knew. Because she was still a human. Not 'mostly human' or three-quarters human', just _human_. A realization that should have been confusing was perfectly clear, and incredibly comforting. She realized for the first time on a conscious level that she had been afraid that embracing her Cirronian heritage would somehow diminish her human heritage. It had not, though, not in the least. She smiled up at Cole, understanding clearly written in eyes that were even more beautiful to him now than they had been in the past.

"I'm both," she told him quietly. "Both and… _neither._" She let out a short laugh, amused. Her mind should have been reeling. Instead, it was as calm as a mountain lake. _Still waters…_ She smiled up at him. "I feel… Serene."

"Balanced, Mel," Cole corrected gently. "For the first time in your life, you have found balance."

She shook her head. "I've felt this once or twice before. Every time I felt that way, you were there with me, touching me," she admitted.

Cole nodded. "I gave what I could, when I could. When you seemed to need it badly. This time, though, I gave you nothing but advice. You achieved this on your own, Mel."

"I had help," she told him with a smile. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"But you found it on your own. This time, it was not given to you. You created it for yourself. This is a great accomplishment, Mel." He smiled widely. "A better start than I had dared to hope for. You… surprised me."

"Was that… voluntary?" Mel asked softly. "When you… glowed like that?"

Cole nodded. Damn he needed a drink. "Yes, Mel. I'm sorry. It was not something I should have done."

She shook her head. "Don't be. I think you're beautiful that way."

"As are you, Mel." He nodded, sighing. 

"It's going to be okay, Cole," she assured him. "_We_ are going to be okay. We're just… going to have to learn to take things one day at a time. Us, Zin, the fugitives…"

Cole nodded. She was right. He gently caressed her throat. "I was so angry earlier," he began.

"I know." Mel nodded. "I… that's not a side of you I've ever seen before."

He sighed. "But it _is_ a part of who I am. Do you love me less?"

Mel stared, startled. "What kind of question is that?" She looked into his eyes, searching. He was actually _ashamed_ that he had been angry earlier, she realized. Sighing, she drew him to the bed and made him sit, crouching in front of him. "Cole, you are… you're _allowed_ to be angry, Cole. Zin and the others have taken so much from you. I think that a little anger over that is perfectly natural." She smiled and shook her head. "Look at me, Cole. How many times have you seen me get angry over little things? Cole, everyone feels anger sometimes." She smiled up at him, and gently patted his knee. "The important thing is what you do with it."

"What you… do with it?" he asked, frowning uncertainly, not entirely understanding.

Mel nodded. "Yeah. Do you spend a few minutes ranting and taking it out on perfectly innocent blenders or do you… organize a huge prison-break, _twice_, and decide that it'll be fun to hold the people you're mad at hostage with this big old weapon of mass-destruction thingy."

Cole chuckled faintly at her phrasing. "I guess when you put it like that, Mel…"

"Yeah, okay, so it's not a thingy…" Mel shrugged, grinning. "Well, I'm sorry, Cole. I've always had trouble with pronouncing words in foreign languages…"

"That's okay, Mel." Cole smiled, but his smile quickly faded as reality once again intruded. "We should… discuss how to… deal with this."

"Yeah." Mel sighed and nodded, climbing to her feet. "In the living room, over a pint of cookies and cream."

Cole smiled and nodded. "I like cookies and cream, Mel," he told her, rising.

"I know you do." She grinned. "You think I'd put up with you if you were a mint chocolate-chip person?" Laughing and shaking her head, she took his hand and led him into the living room.

Cole followed, bemused. He had always known that Mel had very strong feelings about the particular flavor of ice-cream, but he had not thought that they were that strong. When he realized that she was teasing, he grinned and shook his head. Now that he was actually going to be staying for awhile, he was just going to have to apply himself harder to understanding these humans. Especially Mel. _That_ effort, at least, would be worthwhile.

They sat in the living room together in silence for some time, just eating their ice-cream and brooding. Cole poured himself a small glass of scotch to go with his ice-cream, then another when that one was gone. Mel observed but did not comment, not really sure _how_ to broach the subject or even if she _should_. It bothered her, though. First he said he had trouble moderating himself, then he started drinking. She resolved to keep a _very_ close eye on him. To her relief, he stopped after two and turned his full attention to the ice-cream, or perhaps to his own reflections. The way Cole ate, seeming to be almost in a trance at times, it was sometimes hard to tell.

Mel broke the silence. "How long will it take me to learn?" she asked quietly, eagerly. 

It was not _just_ the desire to learn how to use her Cirronian powers, although that _was_ strong. Mostly, it was her desire to help Cole face this new threat to them. This was bigger, the stakes higher, than anything he had ever been up against, and he would need all the help he could get from _either_ end of the galaxy. She was going to be there for him, that was all there was to it. And the faster she could learn, the more she could do, the sooner Zin could be taken and peace and balance restored.

Cole considered, setting aside his ice-cream. "Different people learn at different speeds, Mel." He shrugged. "You may learn quickly or… it may take time. I don't know yet. It's too soon."

She nodded. "Where do we start?"

"You must learn to sense the energy-fields all around you, Mel," he told her quietly. "This is first, most important. The other abilities… build on this."

She nodded. "Okay. How's it work?"

"It takes practice, Mel. Patience." He paused. "There are things I must do before I can begin teaching you."

"What things?" she asked, curious.

"I must put new locks on all the doors and windows." Keeping Mel safe, especially while he was away, had to be his top priority right now.

Mel chuckled. "Right. Because with Zin's people knowing who we are and where we live we're basically sitting ducks here." At his blank expression, she smiled and explained, "It means… that we're right out in the open and pretty much defenseless."

Cole nodded his understanding. "'Sitting ducks' is exactly what we are, then, Mel."

"Can I help with the locks?" she offered. 

Cole nodded. "Maybe, Mel. I'd like that. We can start after the bar closes for the night."

She nodded. "I'd better go see how Bridgett and Isabel are holding up," she said, realizing that they had been up here for several hours since she had last checked on them.

Cole nodded. "Yes, Mel. Take this." He handed her his Collector. "Just in case. I'll start getting the locks ready."

Mel hesitantly accepted the Collector, nodding. The precaution made sense. "Will you be down later?" she asked.

Cole smiled and nodded. "Yes, Mel. I will need some things for the locks," he added.

She nodded. "Make a list. We'll run to the hardware store."

"Not all of it will be easy to find, Mel."

She nodded. "Well, we'll get it somehow, Cole. Promise."

Cole smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Mel. I would feel better knowing that, when you are here alone, there are secure locks on the doors."

She smiled and touched his throat lightly. "I should get downstairs," she said softly. "Come let me know when you have the list. We'll go from there."

  
"We've been saying that a lot today," Cole sighed.

"I know, Cole." Mel smiled sadly at him. "But… it's true, you know? This is just going to have to be how our lives are from now on. A _lot_ of uncertainty, a little fear, and one day at a time. But we'll get through it."

He nodded, his expression sad. "I know, Mel."

"Hey…" she breathed, sitting on the coffee-table in front of him. "None of that," she whispered, caressing his cheek. "Together, there is _nothing_ that we can not overcome."

Cole smiled at her, gently kissing her forehead. He would rather have kissed her mouth, but since they could not have a physical relationship it would have been unfair to both of them. "Yes, Mel."

She smiled and returned the gesture. "Okay, I'll be downstairs if you need anything."  


He nodded and smiled, watching her go. Shaking his head, pleased with her bravery and determination, he rose and walked into the war-room to begin taking inventory. He brought the bottle. His attention was quickly drawn to the screen with the satellite images. More than the original 218. _So many more_… A few keystrokes later, he knew exactly how many more. 

"_Five hundred and thirty one_," he whispered, shaking his head and staring at the screen. He poured himself another drink, considering.

One of those dots was Zin, one his wife Etala, one his protégé Lana. One each for Rhee and his brother Remmel. Cedra and Vedra. Sudor. Tev… Tev would have to be his first priority, he decided. As badly as he would have liked to hunt Rhee down, as much as he wanted to do the same to Zin and Lana, Tev should be first. Tev was contagious, and for every day he was not caught, one more woman would die. Rhee, Sudor, the others… they might go weeks or months without killing. Tev, though… he had probably already claimed his first victim.

Cole closed his eyes against the thought, against the memories it triggered, and tapped a series of commands on the keyboard, hacking into one local hospital after another. As he had suspected, a woman had been admitted to an area hospital with the symptoms of Tev's illness. He had to talk to her, tonight, before she got any worse and could no longer tell him what Tev looked like this time. He rose, picked up his list, and walked down the stairs into the bustling bar, looking around for Mel.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked him on her way back from carrying a tray of beers to a corner table.

"There is a woman in the hospital. She has the same disease as Tev."

Mel closed her eyes and nodded. She had not expected him to get back to Tracking so quickly but, in Tev's case, it made sense. "Guess you'll be needing this," she said, handing him the Collector.

"Will you be safe here alone?" he asked gently.

She nodded. "Yeah, it's pretty crowded. No one's going to try anything."

Cole touched her throat. "Stay safe. I have my cell-phone if you need me."

She nodded. "List?" 

Cole nodded and handed it to her. 

"_Key-cards_?" she read, staring.

Cole nodded. "Yes, Mel." 

Mel shook her head. "Right." She smiled at him. "Stay safe. Be careful."

He smiled and nodded, hugging her quickly before turning and weaving his way through the crowd. Mel stared after him with a sigh, tucking the list into her front pocket and shaking her head. Things were getting back to normal, all right. Smiling to herself, she returned to her post behind the bar.


	6. Luck of the Draw

****

Chapter 6 -- Luck of the Draw

Cole had gotten enough experience with acting inconspicuous in the past 11 months to be able to move unchallenged through the hospital and into the ICU. He slipped into a changing-room and pulled on a pair of scrubs, which allowed him unchallenged access into the rooms of patients in the isolation ward of the ICU as well. No one had yet made the correlation of the symptoms of this patient to the symptoms of the previous outbreak, which meant that there was not yet a quarantine in effect.

He quickly found the one he was looking for. The patient's chart was hanging on her door. He picked it up and read over it, leaning casually against the wall as he did so. He frowned, wondering if two trips through the wormhole in such rapid succession had caused the virus residing in Tev to mutate. The symptoms were, undeniably, those of the virus Tev had infected himself with: respiratory depression, skin lesions, iron and potassium deficiency, a surplus of copper and several other minerals in the blood, erratic heartbeat, high fever. They were all there, symptoms of a hundred other diseases, but combined in a way that pointed irrefutably to Tev's genetically-engineer infection. But, at the same time… the progression was far too rapid.

Cole frowned, wondering. He walked into the room and looked at the woman on the bed, hooked up to monitors and IVs and a ventilator, wires and tubes everywhere. Her eyes opened fractionally at his approach, taking a few moments to focus on him. They betrayed recognition even before the 'woman' spoke.

  
"Daggon. You came back for us," the person lying in the bed whispered in a weak voice.

"Tev," Cole whispered. He had automatically assumed that the patient was a victim of Tev. It had never occurred to him that it might be Tev himself.

He was awed by the rapid progress with which the disease had ravaged the host body. In a female body, Tev would have had no way of cleansing himself of the disease. That was only possible in a male body. He was dying as he had condemned all those human women to die, as he had condemned the Cirronian ambassador to die. It was ironic, what Mel would have called 'poetic justice', and he was half-tempted to leave Tev to this incredibly painful death. Especially after what he had tried to do to Mel. 

But it was Mel's own words that kept him from turning on his heels and leaving Tev to his fate. _I think that a little anger over that is perfectly natural… The important thing is what you do with it._ Leaving the Nodulian to die would have made Cole no better than him, than Zin, than all the others.

"Bad luck," Tev rasped. "This body… Gambled and lost…"

"You should have stayed on Sar-Top," Cole told him gently, producing his Collector. "All of you."

"Gambled and lost," he repeated weakly. "Luck of the draw. Didn't think you'd come back for us. Bet… wrong side."

"Who organized the second escape?" Cole asked. "Tell me, Tev."

"Zin, Lana…"

"Etala?"

Tev shook his head. "Don't think so. Don't know." Abruptly, he groaned in pain, one of the monitors beeping loudly for a few moments before resuming its previous, steady tone. "Please, take me now," Tev moaned, writhing.

"Yes." Cole nodded and moved towards the bed.

"Cameras," Tev breathed, nodding towards the video cameras.

Cole nodded gratefully and disabled both with quick blasts of energy before walking to Tev's side.

"Thank… you…" Tev whispered.

Cole nodded. He had felt so much anger at Tev after his attempt on Mel, but now Cole could feel nothing but pity for the man who was dying the worst death imaginable. He quickly Collected the Nodulian. 

"Gambled and lost," Cole muttered as alarms shrilled all around him. "One down," he added with a sigh, turning and leaving. The doctors and nurses rushing past did not even spare Cole a second glance. "Five hundred and thirty left." God it was going to be a long night…

***

Cole walked straight upstairs when he returned to the Watchfire, not even noticing Mel trying to get his attention across the crowded barroom. He transferred Tev's life-force into containment, took a drink, and then typed a brief report. _The Nodulian Tev has been recaptured. 527 more of Zin's subordinates to capture; also Zin, Etala, and the Vardian Lana are confirmed planet-side._

"Daggon?" a voice chirped over his speaker a few moments after he had hit the 'send' key.

"Go ahead, Bendal," Cole said, typing the commands to transmit the Nodulian's hologram into the room. "Do you have my report?"

"Yes. That's why I called. Good work, Daggon."

"Pure dumb luck, actually. The full details of the apprehension will be in my log."

"That's just fine, Daggon," Bendal said. "Now, where should I forward your winnings?" he asked cheerfully.

"Keep them," Cole said, shaking his head. A year's salary at 100 to 1 odds and he could not have cared less. He would have spent it all on one more drink. "Donate them, invest them. I… don't care. This once, I wish I had been wrong."

"You aren't the only one. It's going to make your job down there a _kree_ of a lot harder."

"I know." Cole sighed and nodded. "How are things there?"

"This report will help change them," Bendal told him. "I've already transmitted a copy of it to the Security Council. Looks like we all get to keep our jobs _and_ our life-forces."

Cole sighed again, nodding. "I could use you down here, my friend."

"I know, and I would come in a heartbeat, but… things up here…"

"I understand. Eijan needs you, too."

"She could use you, too." Bendal gave him an apologetic look. "But I guess this Earth place is your home now?"

"Yes, Bendal, it is."

"The… human woman? How is she?"

"Like the rest of us. Anxious, upset, not sure what comes next."

"Understandable."

"I… want to commission her to the Tracker Corps." Ignoring the surprised look Bendal was giving him, he continued, "She's part Cirronian. She can help me. I _need_ her help."

"I'll get the paperwork started. Nallyn is talking about a sociological expedition to Earth."

"No." Cole shook his head firmly. "Not until Zin is taken care of. It's too dangerous."

"Life is a lot more dangerous everywhere than it was this time yesterday, my friend."

"So I noticed," Cole sighed. "I'll need some things."

"Let me get a data-pad," Bendal said. He quickly retrieved one and looked at Daggon again. "Go ahead."

"Another Collector for Mel. A second storage unit to accommodate all the prisoner life-forces. A mobile energy-source. A… an atomizer." Cole sighed.

"Since when do Cirronians carry weapons?" Bendal squealed, startled.

"It's for Mel, until I can train her fully."

"I'll do what I can on the last one. What else."

Cole quickly reeled off the list which he had been composing in his head of items which would make his job easier and keep the woman he loved safer.

"I'll do what I can. Conditions will be favorable to establish a wormhole to Earth in… half a cycle."

Cole nodded. Better than he could have hoped. The equipment would be there by morning. "Wonderful news, Bendal. Just dump it all in the Vault."

"Yes, Daggon. No promises on the atomizer, though."

"I understand." Cole nodded. "Something, though. Anything. I want Mel to have a weapon."

"I'll see what I can do. Shielding on the energy source might be a problem. We may not be able to get it to you."

"I understand," Cole repeated, nodding again. "How long until the next wormhole?"

Bendal hesitated. "A little over one rotation."

Cole gaped. That was… 15 months. "So I'm cut off from help for another rotation?" he asked softly, sighing.

"Unless conditions change substantially, yes. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, my friend." Cole considered. "How much more equipment can you get me? I want to be prepared for this."

"What do you need?"

Cole considered for a few moments. "Two of everything on my list."

"If I can get one, the odds are good I can get two," Bendal assured him.

"Great. Throw in a basic electrical tool-kit, will you?"

"Shouldn't be too hard to scrounge one of those up."

"Wonderful."

"Eijan says you'll be reporting back to _me_, not the Council. I'm not sure what she's playing at, but that's what she says."

Cole frowned and nodded. There were too many Vardians on the Security Council. Any number could be in league with Zin, or just paid to look the other way. "Eijan is a wise woman, Bendal. You remember that and you'll live longer. You can trust her like you used to trust me. She will keep you safe."

"Thank you for the advice, my friend." Bendal looked over his shoulder. "I must go now. I look forward to your next report and… our next conversation." 

Cole nodded. "Likewise, my friend. Stay safe." Cole sighed as the hologram faded. Bendal had not been able to tell him as much as he could have hoped. "I need a drink," he sighed, shaking his head at the realization that the bottle was empty. A year's salary at 100 to 1 and he really _would_ have traded it all for another drink. "Damn, this is turning into a problem," he whispered. "Again."

***

"I can't exactly pick this stuff up at the Home Depot, Cole," Mel pointed out, sighing. They were sitting in the dark, empty bar, talking.

"I know, Mel. But these _are_ the things I need to make this a safe place for you to be."

Mel sighed and nodded. "Tell me where I can find them, and I'll get them."

Cole nodded. "I'll make a list, Mel. Conditions will be favorable for a wormhole tomorrow. Bendal and Eijan are sending me some supplies. It will make our work easier."

Mel nodded. "I don't suppose that they're sending anyone to help?" she asked hopefully.

"No, Mel. None can be spared at present."

"How bad is it, Cole?" Mel asked softly.

"I am no longer being openly called a traitor." Cole shrugged. "Which is something. Bendal and Eijan will be allowed to retain their positions at Sar-Top. This is great news, Mel. They're two of the most trustworthy members of the Tracker Corps. Eijan was my training officer when I joined. She must have saved my life… half a dozen times." He shook his head. "I wonder what became of Kallissa," he murmured absently.

"Who?"

"She was… regional head of security on Cirron when I went to Sar-Top. Only Welyn was above her. She had… _eyes_…" He looked up at Mel, reaching towards her face, his hand hovering a few inches from it, near her eyes. "They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. The color of yours. Not like any other Cirronian I've ever known. Less than ten percent have eyes that are not brown. Most are green. Kallissa's… they were like yours." He smiled faintly, brushing a strand of hair out of her blue-gray eyes. "When Nallia… died, Kallissa was there to pick up the pieces. She stayed with me until Zin arrived, almost a week. She was away from her family that whole time."

"She sounds like an amazing woman," Mel said softly.

"She was, Mel. Like you in so many ways. I've often wondered if you might be related. Those _eyes_." He shook his head. "It's not important. I just… so many things that I never thought I'd miss. I miss them all now. Not because I may never see them again, but… because…"

"Because our friends help us through times like this." Mel nodded her understanding and gently rested her hand on his.

He smiled up at her, nodding. "Yes, Mel."

"Maybe you can introduce us some time," she suggested.

"Maybe." Cole nodded. "I want you to meet everyone I love in Migar, Mel. Nallyn and her family, Kallissa, Eijan, Bendal, Alicia… they've all been such wonderful friends to me, Mel." He smiled at her. "I've always been lucky in my choice of friends."

"Except Zin," Mel whispered.

Cole sighed. "Zin was not… always as he is now. I would not have survived Nallia's death without him. He took care of me until I could take care of myself." He shrugged. "Etala, his wife, was… I think she was scared for him when he came to me, a Vardian on Cirron after what Rhee had done. She did _not_ want him to come, but he did anyway. He stayed with me in my home, and came with me when I went to Sar-Top. He stayed there until I was settled, too." He sighed and shook his head. "He was… badly treated by his peers on Varda. It doesn't excuse what he has become, but… it doesn't change what he was, either, Mel. He was a good friend to me for many years."

"Well, I'm sorry you had to lose his friendship then," Mel said softly. "Especially the way you did."

Cole nodded. "He has _always_ wanted to reshape the universe into a shape of his own making, Mel. When he was a young idealist, this was a glorious thing, but… he grew older and more cynical. Eventually he became bitter about the way he was treated. I… try to tell myself that when he started planning he was not serious. It is… likely that he wasn't. A wormhole to a planet 100 light-years away, a stable one? It seemed an impossibility until Zin _made it happen_. He was a good friend, Mel, and a gifted scientist. He allowed his anger to consume him."

"What about Etala? Where does she fit into this whole thing?"

Cole shrugged. "I am not honestly sure. She stayed behind after Zin came here to take care of their children."  


"Zin has kids?" Mel asked, blinking. Talk about a dysfunctional home environment. 

"Four, Mel. A boy and three girls. His oldest, the boy, adored Ashi. Zin used to joke that they would end up mates when Ashi's time came. It was… only half a joke, I think. I believe that they very well _might_ have married in spite of the differences between our peoples." He shook his head. "Zin adored his offspring, Mel. His son was his heir, his daughters his little princesses. I don't think he ever spoke a cross word to them. He is a good father."

"Except for the part where he's an evil mad scientist," Mel muttered. "Who _left_ them for almost a year…"

Cole nodded. "I think this must hurt him very much, Mel. He… if he were able to bring the Migar Federation to its knees, Mel, if it were _his_… it would be _theirs_. He would make a gift of it to them." He sighed. "I am not trying to excuse anything, because Zin's actions this past year are inexcusable. But… he loves his children, and this I can understand. If Cirron had been mine to give, Ashi would have had it."

"Every dad wants to give his little girl the world," Mel whispered, smiling at him. There had been a period of a few years in her own life where she had shared such a relationship with her own father, so she fully understood.

Cole nodded, happy tears in his eyes at memories of all the wonders of the universe that he had shared with his beautiful Ashi. "Yes."

"And I'll bet that whenever she used to say 'I love you', you would say 'not as much as I love you'," she whispered.

Cole stared, startled. And here he had always thought it a dreadfully clever and original comeback. Smiling, he bowed his head. "Yes, Mel."

"Yeah. Dads everywhere are the same, I guess," she laughed softly.

"Yes, Mel. It does seem that way."

  
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Mel asked, "So, is Etala an innocent third party or a partner in crime?"

Cole sighed as he considered. "It is not impossible that she knew of Zin's plans, even that she aided in them. Her own interests leaned towards Sociology rather than physics. She would have been a useful resource to him in learning about human culture, and we _know_ that this is what she was researching when the first escape occurred. Whether she _knew_ what Zin had planned, I honestly don't know. My instinct would be to say no."

"Why?"

"Zin would not want her afraid or in danger. He would have kept the truth from Etala to protect her and her children."

"Innocent third party," Mel sighed. "Poor woman. Did she even know what kind of man she was married to?"

"Etala was not without ambition, Mel. She selected Zin as a mate because she knew he had potential, that he would stop at nothing to achieve his ends. That was always my mistake, not acknowledging how far he was capable of going. But Etala… she saw with great clarity Mel."

"So she knew that he was up to something, just not what?"

Cole nodded. "This would be my guess. It is… not unlikely that she thought Zin planned on using the people of this planet as a… labor-pool."

"Labor-pool?" Mel repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Slaves, Mel. Zin and Etala were firm believers that… 'lesser species' should be enslaved and… made productive."

"Lovely," Mel muttered. "Didn't the other members of the Migar Federation have a problem with this?"

"Of course they did, Mel. So did I, but… it all seemed so theoretical that… no one bothered to make an issue of it. I never thought that Zin would perfect his wormhole technology, so I saw no reason to object to his occasional ramblings about 'lesser species' because I did not think that he would _ever_ have access to a non-Migar species." He bowed his head, ashamed. "We had… agreed to disagree. I'm sorry, Mel."

"Shh," she murmured. "You have _got_ to stop blaming yourself for what a bastard Zin is."

Cole sighed. "He was my friend. He is my responsibility. Him, Etala, Lana, all of them."

"What do you know about Lana?" Mel asked.

"I met her… a handful of times. She traveled with Zin when Etala was otherwise occupied. Zin stopped bringing Etala and the children on our vacations together. He wanted to spare me the pain of seeing him with his family. But Lana frequently came with him. She was a sweet child."

"Were they lovers?" Mel asked.

"Rumors called them that, as I said." Cole shrugged. "I never believed it, though. Zin loved Etala."

"Why'd she join him on vacation if they weren't involved?" Mel asked, not buying it.

"Like a… personal assistant, Mel, or a secretary. Zin worked non-stop, even on vacation. Lana's presence made that easier and… she was someone he could bounce ideas off of. He always said he was lucky to have her. She was a _brilliant_ child, Mel, smarter than Zin, even."

"Smarter than Zin?" Mel repeated thoughtfully. "And, with our luck, a hell of a lot more evil, too…"

Cole shrugged. "She was… dedicated to Zin, Mel. His cause _is_ hers. I wouldn't call her _evil_, Mel, but… she is… _amoral_."

"Which can be worse half the time," Mel muttered.

  
Cole nodded. "I doubt she's ever felt guilt or remorse. She was trained, brought up, _not to_."

"Yay, one _more_ Vardian wacko to worry about," Mel sighed.

"You should rest now," Cole suggested gently. "It's late."

"Right." Mel sighed and rose. "Um… I'll… see you in the morning."

Cole sighed and nodded. "Yes, Mel. Good night, Mel." 

He rose and walked her to her bedroom as he had so many times in the past. And, once more, he stood with her at her door for a moment, told her to sleep well, and watched her vanish into her room. He sighed and rested his palm against the closed door, allowing himself a few moments for regret. Shaking his head, he walked into the war-room, looking around. This equipment had, amazingly, allowed him to make due for almost a year now. With material support from Migar, it could be upgraded substantially, making his job easier. But there was so much more at stake now than ever before. He looked up at the sound of a familiar voice over the speaker.

Sighing, he activated the translation matrix. "Go ahead, Eijan."


	7. Siege Mentality

****

Chapter 7 -- Siege Mentality

Cole had already been hard at work for hours by the time Mel got up. Or, at least, that was the impression she got from the fact that the barroom was a complete and utter shambles with bits of electronics equipment, wires, and tools scattered everywhere. Cole was crouched before the front door, working on something.

"Morning, Mel," he called cheerfully without looking up.

"Hey, get you some coffee?" she asked, stepping over a toolbox and looking around. 

It was not lost on her that there was an empty glass next to him and a half-empty bottle of scotch on the bar. She frowned and shook her head, moving the bottle back to its place and resolving to talk to Cole about it as soon as the opportunity presented itself. A man who could not moderate himself had no business drinking _anything._

"Yes, please, Mel."

"Extra sweet, please, Mel," she said at the same time as Cole.

Cole smiled and glanced up at her, nodding. "Yes, please."

"So, how's it… coming?" Mel asked.

"Well, I've replaced all of the traditional locks with electronic ones. You'll need a key-card _and_ a code to open them."

Mel stared with wide eyes as he casually rambled on.

"I'm going to do the same for the apartment lock, your bedroom door, the basement, and the war-room. I reinforced the glass in the windows with a transparent alloy to make it unbreakable, and I'm going to put up motion-detectors in the barroom and basement. They will be keyed to a security system that I'm installing now. It should make breaking into the Watchfire almost impossible. Definitely not possible to do so undetected any more." Cole paused for a moment. "I'm going to add a redundant system upstairs as well."

Mel blinked. "Um, so, we're… basically we're going to be able to, um… hold off a government siege now?" she asked, walking over to the coffee-maker.

"Yes, Mel." Cole nodded. "If we had to. But I'm more worried about the fugitives."

"Right…" Mel muttered, shaking her head. The answer was typical Cole. The security measures, though, just scared her. She had been thinking new locks and maybe an extra dead-bolt. Reinforcing the windows with transparent aluminum or whatever he had used just seemed like overkill. "But does the bar _need_ to be a fortress?"

"Yes, Mel." Cole rose and walked over to her. "They know we are here. They may try to harm you."

"So, I get to spend the rest of my life living in fear?" she asked, shaking her head, fear and frustration clearly written across every feature.

"No, Mel," he promised softly. "We are going to catch them. All of them. And I am going to teach you how to protect yourself. All of this is temporary, and you won't even notice most of it. How do humans say it? Better to be safe than sorry?"

Mel bit her lower lip and nodded.

Cole smiled reassuringly and touched her forehead for a moment before moving his hand to her throat. "I want you to go sit down on one of the couches, and practice those breathing exercises I showed you. I'll make the coffee."

Mel nodded slowly. "I know that everything is going to be okay," she whispered, taking his hands in hers and smiling lovingly up at him. "And I know that you're not as sure about that... But, I have faith enough for both of us. You borrow a little bit of mine any time you need to."

Cole smiled down at her. She was more Cirronian than she knew. "Yes, Mel. Thank you, Mel." 

He absently caressed her throat as she turned to walk to one of the bar's couches, then put on a pot of coffee before returning to his installation of the final downstairs lock. He had to pause again a few moments later to let Isabel in as she showed up for her shift.

The girl looked around with wide eyes. "Um… dare I ask?" she drawled, taking in the mess and Mel sitting on a couch, seemingly oblivious to it.

Mel smiled up at her. "Oh, after that break-in last month, Cole decided to… upgrade our security. Nothing to worry about."

"Right." Isabel nodded and shrugged. Obviously Mel's quirky friend was starting to rub off on her because, as far as Isabel could tell, Miss Porter got stranger every day. Oh, well. At least she was over that depression that had virtually immobilized her for a few days last week. Shaking her head, Isabel stepped over a pile of circuit-boards. "Um, isn't this going to make serving the customers a bit difficult?" she inquired in what she hoped was a casual tone.

"Don't worry, Isabel," Cole told her, smiling. "I'll be done before the lunch crowd starts coming in."

"Right." Isabel nodded again and moved behind the bar. "Coffee's done," she announced. "Who wants?"

"Mel, did you want a cup?" Cole asked her. 

"Um, no, that's okay, Cole. I think I'll just go upstairs and practice these breathing exercises some more."

"Yes, Mel. Call me if you need help."

Mel grinned and nodded. "Will do."

Cole watched her go, smiling faintly. Nodding to himself, he walked to the bar. "Thanks, Isabel," he said as she handed him a cup of coffee and a sugar-container. "Don't worry. This mess will be gone in a few minutes," he promised, pouring sugar into his coffee. "I've been working for awhile, so I'm almost done down here."

"Cool." Isabel nodded and watched as he _continued_ to pour sugar into his coffee. For such an in-shape guy, he had one hell of a sweet-tooth. And he had obviously been drinking, judging from his slightly glazed look. He was sharp as always, but also a bit tipsy if she was any judge.

"You'll need this," Cole added when he had enough sugar, reaching into his pocket and producing a key-card. "Don't lose it or I'll have to reprogram the locks."

"You take your home-security seriously," Isabel said softly, accepting the key and slipping it into her wallet.

Cole shrugged and mixed his coffee until the last bits of sugar dissolved. "I take Mel's security _very_ seriously." Shrugging, he emptied his cup in a single long gulp and rose, returning to work. "You'll need to start coming in through the back," he added after a few moments work. "The front locks are only keyed to open from the inside."

Isabel shrugged. "Whatever." 

An honest living was an honest living and, for that, she could put up with whatever weird tangent Miss Porter and Mister Hauser were on this time. It would not have been the first time they had acted like complete freaks. It was something that Isabel was starting to grow used to. Rather endearing in its way. Smiling and shaking her head, she started getting the bar ready to open, stepping over piles of electronics equipment and around tangled masses of wires and generally ignoring the fact that anything was amiss. As promised, the mess was cleared away by the time the lunch crowd started to arrive. Cole quietly told her that he would be upstairs with Mel and to call if she needed anything, then he vanished up the stairs.

When he reached the apartment, Mel was sitting on the living room couch, talking on the phone. "No, there's always a place for you at the Watchfire, you know that Jess. And… whatever you decide, we're here for you. Yeah, I know." She smiled up at Cole and mouthed, "It's Jess."

Cole smiled brightly and sat down next to Mel, awaiting his turn to talk to her.

"Hey, Cole's here, Jess. Want to say hi?" Mel grinned and handed him the phone.

"Hello, Jess," Cole said when Mel handed him the phone.

"Hey, stranger," Jess said in a tone of forced cheerfulness.

Cole frowned. "Jess, something is wrong?"

"It's nothing, Cole," Jess assured him, although her voice lacked conviction.

"She broke up with Ewan," Mel explained quietly. "Again."

Cole sighed and frowned, remembering how happy Jess had been when they got engaged. "I'm sorry to hear about you and Ewan, Jess."

"It's no big deal, Cole," Jess assured him. "I'm thinking of coming back to the States. For good this time."

Cole smiled again. "That would be nice, Jess. I've missed you very much."

"Yeah, well, I've missed you, too," Jess told him. "Still walking around in your underwear?" she teased.

Cole smiled and shook his head. "Not so much any more, Jess." His smile widening, he teased right back, "If it would get you to come back, though, I'll start again."

Jess laughed. "Damn, I _have_ missed you. So, any plans to make Mel an honest woman yet?"

"Mel is a _very_ honest woman, Jess," Cole pointed out.

Mel raised an eyebrow, processing Cole's side of the conversation.

"I mean are you going to _marry_ her, you goof!" Jess laughed.

Cole's smile faded completely. "One of these days, Jess."

Her voice was surprised as she demanded, "What have I missed?"

"Nothing, Jess. Work's just been… complicated lately." Cole sighed. "Nothing you need to worry about."

"Right," Jess replied skeptically. "Well, if you want to talk about it some time, you feel free to call me."

Cole smiled faintly. Jess really was a sweet girl, and her habit of trying to push Mel and himself into becoming a couple was an endearing one. "If you come back, we can talk about it in person," he pointed out gently.

"Ooh, you mean you'll finally drop the secret agent routine and tell me the _real_ story of what's up with your job?" she teased.

"Maybe, Jess. Parts of the story, anyway."

"Well, _that_ makes my decision a lot easier."

Cole smiled absently. Having Jess back would be nice if she decided to come. "Even if you don't come to stay, Jess, you should come visit."

"Don't suppose your work is going to bring you guys to London anytime soon?" Jess asked.

"Probably not, Jess. I have a lot to deal with here right now."

"Okay, Cole. Look, can I talk to Mel again?"

"Yes, Jess. It was good to talk to you again. Good bye, Jess."

"Bye, Cole."

Cole handed the phone back to Mel. "I'll be in the war-room," he murmured. 

Mel nodded and held the phone to her ear again. "Hey, Jess." When Cole was gone, she added, "Honest woman, huh?"

"Hey, you two _belong_ together."

Mel bit her lower lip. "I know we do, Jess. Soon, I hope."

"He okay? He doesn't sound great."

"It's like he said. Work is just _really_ complicated right now. He has so much on his plate and I think he feels a little overwhelmed by it all."

"Can you talk about it?" Jess offered, her concern obvious. The offer had nothing to do with curiosity.

"Not really. It's just… politics, you know." Mel shrugged. Wow, the truth.

"Eww," Jess contributed. "Office politics can be a _royal_ pain."

"They can. Things are ugly at the home-office right now and it's got him on edge. He'll be fine in a few days," she said, trying to convince herself as much as Jess.

"Of _course_ he will. He's Cole." Jess chuckled softly. "Damn, Mel. You _are_ freaked, aren't you?"

"Just a little. Nothing new there."

"Not going to argue with _that_."

"Smart-ass."

"Well, _yeah_." There was a pause. "You ever find a halfway decent replacement for me?"

Mel shrugged. "Well, _no_, actually. I've got Isabel and Bridgett both working double shifts. Bridgett is ready to walk, and Isabel graduates soon. She's not going to stay once she has her degree."

"Bloody hell! I leave you alone for a few months and you manage to alienate _both_ of them?" Jess laughed in spite of herself.

Mel sighed. "Yeah, you laugh." She grinned and shook her head. "You really serious about coming back to Chicago?" she asked quietly.

"You really serious about having a job for me when I get there?" came the response.

Mel grinned. Typical Jess, never one to beat around the bush. It would be nice to have a friendly face and a sympathetic ear. "I'm not going to lie to you, Jess. Things have changed. I'm different and so is Cole. But… having you back would be great."

"Did something happen?" Jess asked, concerned.

"Yeah." Mel sighed. "Last month. And it was big and unpleasant and… a learning experience, but… I don't know, Jess. I don't know that you would recognize either one of us from the Cole and Mel you left here."

"Mel? How deeply are you into Cole's business?"

"Pretty deep. A little deeper every day. I'm different, Jess, I am." Mel shook her head. "But I still miss my best friend. Maybe… before you decide to come back for good, you should come for a visit."

"Yeah, well, the papers take a few months anyway," came the noncommittal reply.

"You want your old job back, Jess, it's yours. I mean that," Mel told her slowly. Recalling how close Jess had come to death in London without even knowing it, Mel was reluctant to have her back, but still could have used the friendship and perspective that her friend's presence had always provided.

  
"Well, this is something I need to think about anyway," Jess said finally. "Another spur of the moment decision would be stupid of me. You two aren't the only ones who've changed, you know."

Mel smiled faintly. "Well, you think about it. And whatever you decide we _will_ be behind you."

"I appreciate that, Mel, I do. You and Cole are two of the best friends I've had. I need to go now. I'll be late for work."

"Okay, Jess. Take care. Let us know what you decide."

"Yeah, Mel. Keep in touch."

"You too, Jess. Bye. Take care." 

"Bye."  


Mel sighed and rose as the line went dead. Having Jess back would have been great, certainly, but she was also worried about the younger woman. If Jess came back, keeping her in the dark about Cole's real identity and mission might not be a viable alternative. Telling her the truth had risks of its own, of course, but… Mel sighed and sat back down, breathing as Cole had showed her. It actually was incredibly helpful. She was going to have to discuss the matter with Cole, she decided finally. And, of course, it was still a _huge_ 'what if'. Jess might well recover from her annoyance over the breakup and decide to stay in London. Certainly it would have been safer for her.

Shaking her head, she rose to go fill Cole in on the situation and possible outcomes. She found him in the war-room, not working over a computer but looking through the phone-book. She leaned over his shoulder and saw that it was opened to the A's. A phone-number had been underlined.

"Alcoholics anonymous?" she whispered, stunned. Well, at least she would not have to call him out on his drinking now.

Cole nodded, looking up at her, his eyes sad and a little ashamed. "I think I might need it, Mel. When Nallia and Ashi died… I drank to kill the pain. I wanted to be numb, permanently. I was talking to Jonas… He said that, after his wife died…"

  
"He crawled into a bottle." 

Mel nodded. She had heard Jonas telling Cole the exact same thing, had explained to Cole afterwards what Jonas had meant, how the pain had just been unbearable for the attorney, how the alcohol had helped. Now that things were looking up for him, Jonas was better. He had been self-medicating, doing what he could to kill the pain. It had taken something to get him out of his slump before he could even think of getting his drinking under control. Nowadays, he only ordered seltzer. Cole was in a slump of his own now and, by his own admission, had not always been able to control his intake in the past. Maybe it _was_ the best thing.

Cole nodded. "I want to do that so badly now, Mel. To just drink until it doesn't hurt, until I just don't _care_ about the fugitives or Zin or the weapon or the war or… _you_."

Mel sighed and leaned over him, wrapping her arms around him. "We'll get through this, Cole. I promise you."

"I know. But right now… I think that it can't hurt for me to go to some of these meetings. I've heard that they can be helpful."

Mel nodded. "Yeah, that's what I've heard. I'll even go with you if you want, for moral support."

He smiled gratefully. "I'd appreciate it, Mel."

She nodded. "I'll call later and get meeting times."

"Thank you, Mel." He smiled up at her, touching her throat. "Is Jess coming back?"

"She might." Mel nodded. "She's angry now, upset. She wants to wait, get over that, before she decides anything."

Cole nodded. "I think that would be best for her."

Mel hesitated. "If she comes back… We may not be able to keep the truth from her. For her own safety."

Cole considered. In the past, Mel had _always_ been the one who had told him how important it was to keep his secret… secret. Now she was saying that Jess might need to be told. And she was right. He nodded agreement.

"If she comes, she may need to be told."

Mel nodded. "Maybe it would be better for her if she didn't come, but… I couldn't tell her not to, either." She sighed. "Does that make me selfish?"

He shook his head. "We both want her back here. We love her and miss her, Mel. It's natural to want her nearby."

Mel bit her lower lip and nodded. "I'm starting to understand what you meant after the seminar. When you said that we couldn't be involved," she said softly, sighing. "That worry over what might happen to a person if you let them in…"

Cole nodded. "It's never easy in a position like this, Mel. You always worry for those you care about. Maybe… maybe, when I've taught you, I'll be able to worry less, but…" He paused, rising, remember. "I have something for you, Mel."

"What?" she asked, curious.

"It came in the shipment that Bendal sent. If you go into the living room, I'll bring it."

Mel nodded slowly, wondering, and walked back into the living room as Cole pulled a metallic box of some sort down from a high shelf.

"Two things, actually," he told her as he walked into the living room with a wooden box in one hand and a bundle of dark blue cloth in the other.

More curious than before, Mel edged forward on the couch as Cole pushed the table out of the way and dropped into a crouch before her, his expression grave and serious as he offered the box.


	8. New Beginnings

****

Chapter 8 -- New Beginnings

Mel took the box from his hands and glanced down at it, curious at its light weight. A wooden box that size should have weighed more than this by itself. Whatever was in it could not have been that heavy. The wood was not like any she had ever seen: deep blue, faintly oily to the touch, definitely not indigenous to Earth. She examined it for a few moments, fascinated, before remember that Cole was waiting. She pulled off the lid and stared down at the little metallic rod nested in more of the dark blue cloth.

"What is it?" she asked, picking it up and turning it over in her hands, wondering at the significance of the blue cloth even as she puzzled over the object in her hands.

"It's called an atomizer, Mel." Cole swallowed before continuing. "It's a weapon. It… _kills_, disintegrates molecular bonds in organic material."

Mel nearly dropped it. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Hopefully you'll never have to use it, but I want you to have it. Just in case."

Mel nodded slowly, replacing it in the box.

Cole quietly explained, "When you picked it up, it keyed itself to your genetics, Mel. Only you can use it now. It can never be turned against you. I want you to carry it with you everywhere until your training is complete."

Mel nodded slowly. She might not have liked it, but he was right. She was doubly vulnerable now. This was a precaution that she _needed_ to take. "Thank you, Cole."

"The other… only if you want it." Cole handed her a sheet of glossy plastic. "This is a commission into the Tracker Corps, Mel."

She blinked, startled.

"It's provisional only, Mel. The commission would make you… a civilian adjunct to the Corps. It gives you the right to _apprentice_ as a Tracker, to carry out the duties of a Tracker on your own sovereign soil only, and _only_ in regards to one specific case."

"The escape?" Mel asked, staring at the strange writing on the sheet.

Cole nodded gravely. "It gives you the right to apprehend such individuals as work for Zin and to hold them pending trial. Once your apprenticeship is complete, it gives you the right to apply to the Corps for a fully commission if you so desire. A full commission gives you more rights. Interrogation, holding on suspicion, holding for questioning…" 

Mel nodded slowly. "This is… big."

"Yes, Mel, it is." Cole nodded his agreement. "And the decision must be yours alone. You can still help me in many ways even if you decline this offer," he told her. "Take as much time as you need to think about it." 

She shook her head. "All or nothing, Cole. I'm with you in this 100%. You… you would be my training officer?"

Cole nodded. "Yes, Mel."

"I'm in. Where do I sign?"

Cole indicated the sheet. "Put your thumb in the square on the top. It will take a genetic sample, and life-force reading."

Mel nodded and put her thumb there, staring at the slight tingling sensation.

"We can frame it if you'd like," Cole added softly.

She grinned and nodded. "I'd like that. That it? I'm… in?"  


Cole shook his head. "Give me your left hand."

Mel extended it slowly, allowing Cole to press it firmly against the bundle of cloth still clutched in his own left hand. He took the box from her other hand and placed it on the table.

"There's an oath you must take as well," Cole told her. "To finalize it."

Mel nodded. "Sure. How's it go?"

"By that which makes me Cirronian," Cole began, nodding to her to repeat after him.

"By that which makes me Cirronian," she repeated softly.

"By that which makes me Human," Cole added, because Mel's status as a hybrid demanded that she swear by both.

"By that which makes me Human."

"By that which makes me a citizen of this galaxy, this universe."

"By that which makes me a citizen of this galaxy, this universe," Mel repeated, surprised to feel energy rushing into her hand from both directions. Trusting Cole, she made no attempt to pull away.

"I solemnly affirm by that which I call holy," Cole continued, his eyes clouding with tears as he recalled when he had been the one taking this oath.

Mel was startled by the tears, but thought she understood them. Memories, good and bad, were being dredged up for Cole by this process. "I solemnly affirm by that which I call holy," she whispered.

"To uphold the rule of law."

"To uphold the rule of law," Mel agreed, reaching out with her free hand to smooth away his tears, loving the way he could cry without shame.

He smiled lovingly at her as he continued, "And to protect the freedom, well-being, the very life…"

"And to protect the freedom, well-being, the very life."

"Of all sentient forms, regardless of creed, evolution, or species."

"Of all sentient forms, regardless of creed, evolution, or species," Mel repeated, aware that Cole was no longer the only person in the room crying.

  
"By that which makes me Cirronian."

"By that which makes me Cirronian, by that which makes me Human," Mel said quietly, anticipating the next line.

Cole smiled his approval and spoke the last line of the oath. "That the sacrifices of those who have walked this path before me be not in vain. Now and forever."

"That the sacrifices of those who have walked this path before me be not in vain," Mel whispered, smiling. God, what a beautiful oath. And she knew as she whispered the last words that she was bound by it, "Now and forever."

Cole smiled his approval and freed her hand. When she moved it from the cloth bundle in his hand, he unwrapped it and offered what lay within to her, careful never to touch it himself.

"My own Collector?" she whispered, staring.

Cole nodded gravely. "Yes, Mel," he whispered, proffering it. "No hand has touched it. When you take it up, it will become keyed to your genetics."

"Not my energy?"

He shook his head. "For most species, they are keyed to genetics. Cirronians find it easier to key their Collectors to their energy. There is an assumption that no Cirronian would misuse a Collector, so there is not thought to be a need to take precautions. But if it were to key to your energy, any Cirronian _or_ human would be able to use it. It will key to your genetics instead. No one else will be able to use it once you have accepted it."

Mel nodded slowly. "Will it hurt?"

Cole smiled faintly and shook his head. "No, Mel. There is no pain."

She nodded and gingerly picked it up, cupping it in her palm. She felt the energy of it, as she had before, ebbing and flowing. Abruptly, that sense changed. She could feel a slight tingle and then it activated in her hand, exactly as Cole's had the first time. He smiled and nodded his approval, taking it from her.

"It will always activate for you if your emotions are high," he explained. "And I will teach you how to activate it when you are not angry or afraid." Smiling, he gently returned it to her hand where it lay dormant. "Welcome to the Tracker Corps, Recruit Porter," he whispered, smiling proudly up at her. He pressed the cloth into her hands, too. "This color and type of fabric is only used by the Corps. Weapons and Collectors are stored wrapped in it until they are keyed to a specific individual. Many keep the cloth afterwards as a remembrance."

Mel nodded, running it thoughtfully through her hands, examining it. It was as alien as the wood of the box, smooth and sheer like silk, but as tough and durable as any metal. Migar's answer to Kevlar, perhaps. "Do you still have yours?" she asked.

Cole nodded and rose, walking to the war-room and returning a few moments later with a square of fabric like the one in Mel's hand. He sat on the edge of the coffee table, staring down at it. 

"Cirronian Tracker in Charge Welyn held my hand against this bundle as he recited the oath for me to repeat. Then Eijan, my training officer, did the same. Nallia and Ashi watched and they were… so proud." He smiled faintly. "It was the proudest moment of my life. All my friends were there, too. Nallyn, Alicia, Kallissa, Tallinn, Somi, Dross, Nevi, Aria, Zin, Etala…" He bowed his head, staring down at the fabric in his hands. "More than the Collector, _this_ represents what it is to be a member of the Corps, Mel. If you had friends who knew, I would want you to be able to repeat this oath in their presence. I am sorry that there is no one else here to celebrate this moment." 

Mel smiled at him, grateful for his thoughtfulness. "It's not necessary, Cole. It's enough that I know and you know." She carefully folded the cloth and placed it on top of the box before leaning across the table and touching his throat. "It's almost _more_ special this way. Because it's private, just us. The way it's always been."

Cole smiled and nodded, pleased by the sentiment. "What did you say earlier, Mel? That together there is nothing we can not face?"

Mel nodded. "_Nothing_. Together, we can face and overcome any obstacle that Zin or anyone else cares to throw our way."

Cole smiled and rested his hand over her heart, his fingers caressing her throat. A loud beeping caught both of their attention, ruining the moment before it could become one.

"It's probably Bendal," Cole said, reluctantly rising.

Mel nodded and followed him into the war-room.

"Go ahead, Bendal," Cole said, typing on his keyboard. He activated the translation matrix but not the hologram, not wanting to waste the energy until he got the new reactor installed.

"_Not_ Bendal, my friend."

Cole smiled. "Eijan."

"How goes the war?"

"Don't say that word, please," Cole sighed.

"Forgive me. It was a bad joke."

"Yes, it was. How are things there, Eijan?"

"War is no longer an immediate threat."

"I sense a very large 'however'," Cole told her.

"_Very _large, son. The Vardians are less than pleased with recent developments. War is not an inevitability, but neither is in an impossibility. Things remain… uncertain, tenuous. It is better than it _was_, certainly, if worse than it could be. It is… a fresh start, a new beginning. Those who love peace will not waste it, I promise you."

  
Cole sighed and nodded. "I understand. Thank you. For the record, Mel has accepted a commission into the Tracker Corps."  


"Wonderful news. I'm sure she will aid you greatly if you are half-correct in your assessment of her potential. I'm transmitting you a letter."

"From Nallyn?"

"One each from Nallyn _and_ Kallissa."

Cole smiled widely. "How _is_ Kallissa?"

"You can read for yourself."

"Thank you, Eijan."

"I have nothing new for you, Daggon. Only my heartfelt appreciation for everything you have done thus far and will do in the future. My love to your mate."

  
Cole closed his eyes but did not comment. "I will convey it."

"I must go now. I'm afraid I am much in demand recently. Continue reporting back. Bendal and I will stay in touch and forward any messages to you."

"My thanks."

There was a slight pause. "You take care of yourself, son."

  
Cole touched the blank screen. "You too, old woman. May the Healing Darkness keep you from harm."

"May your path always be lighted. From within as well as without. Luck of the gods, Daggon. Eijan out."

Cole sighed and shook his head, turning off the translation matrix.

"There's not going to be a war," Mel whispered. "That's great news."

"It is… something. But it does not change what _we_ are up against either."

Mel nodded. "Together, there is nothing we can not overcome," she repeated. "Remember that, Cole."

He nodded and smiled up at her, rising and approaching her. "Eijan sends you her love," he said. Impulsively, he added, "Enixians display such affection like this." He leaned towards her and drew her earlobe between his lips, applying gentle pressure with his teeth.

Mel shivered at the gentle pressure. "Whoa…" she breathed, half-closing her eyes. "I… think I like the Enixian version of a hug…" she managed in a shaky voice.

Cole smiled and pulled away, resisting the urge to follow up on the Enixian display of affection with a much more human one, firmly reminding himself that a relationship was out of the question right now.

"I thought you might," he told her, smiling sadly down at her.

"Are you going to read your letters?" Mel asked, picking up on his sadness and guessing its cause.

He nodded, grateful for the change of subject. "Yes, Mel. It's been too long since I've heard from either. I had time to send them short notes before I came back, but there wasn't time to hear back."

She nodded. "I'll give you some privacy then. And… go call about those meetings."

"Thank you, Mel." 

As she left, Cole opened the letters, reading both before framing a response to either. Nallyn and Tallinn were well, and Nallyn was recently delivered of a fifth child, a daughter named Nallia. Nallyn, Tallinn, and their five eldest sent him all love and wished him greatest luck, as did both of their extended families. There were individual messages from the families themselves, and short notes from the children. Cole smiled at these, especially the message from Ashi, now Nallyn's second youngest, who had just learned to write.

Kallissa had become a widow since they had communicated last, he saw with great sorrow. Casein had been a good man and his death was a great loss to Cirron's Security Corps. Taurin and Daggon, their children, were well and growing up fast. A brother and sister-in-law of Casein had taken over their upbringing, leaving Kallissa to her job and her grief. Remembering how much she had helped him in his time of need, he found himself wishing that he could be there for her. Her grief seemed less in light of her responsibilities, too many to indulge in self-pity for long, but Cole had no doubt that it was weighing heavily on her. He offered her what comfort he could in written form and added a heartfelt wish that he could be there for her. He sighed deeply, tears in his eyes as he considered what the loss would do to the beautiful, happy woman.

  
He was just transmitting the responses to those letters when Mel knocked on the war-room door.

"Cole?"

"Come in, Mel." He smiled up at her.

  
"There's an AA meeting tonight," she said quietly. "We just have time if you want to go."

Cole considered for a moment before nodding and rising. "I think that would be a good idea, Mel."

"Do you want company? Moral support?" Mel offered.

Cole did not have to think before nodding. "I would appreciate it."

"Okay." Mel nodded and took his hand in both of hers. "We'll get through this, too, you know."

"I know," he whispered. "With you by my side, there is no obstacle I can not overcome."

She smiled up at him. "Let's go then."

"Yes, Mel." He nodded and followed her.

"They say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards recovery," Mel told him quietly as they drove. It was the only remark offered by either during the drive. It was met with a silent nod.

The moderator greeted them cheerfully and urged them to make themselves comfortable and to help themselves to the coffee and cookies provided. She spoke to them for several more minutes, explaining the general layout of the meetings and telling Cole that there was no need to say or do anything the first couple of times if he was uncomfortable. Others started to drift in, a very mixed group: young and old, professionals, students, blue- and white-collar workers.

They looked up, startled to see a familiar face.

"Cole. Mel." Jonas greeted them softly, obviously as surprised as they were.

Cole spoke first, his voice quiet. "Mel says that admitting you have a problem is the first step."

"Sure is, son," Jonas told him gently, patting his shoulder. "You're going to be just fine."

Cole nodded. "I know I am, Jonas. I have…" He glanced at Mel. "Everything to live for and a lot of friends to help me."

"That's the spirit." Jonas nodded approvingly. "It gets hard sometimes, but remembering what you have, who you're really doing it for, helps. And if you ever need to talk, you call me. Day or night, Cole, and I mean that. I've been where you are now. It's hard, but not impossible."

Cole smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Jonas. I appreciate it."

"Come on, let's grab some seats," Jonas suggested. 

He spent the next few minutes explaining about the twelve steps to Cole, and talking about the importance of supportive friends and relatives. The last was spoken with an approving smile in Mel's direction and an endorsement of Al Anon as a good program for family and spouses of alcoholics.

When the meeting started, Cole was among the first to rise. His voice was nervous, but he spoke without hesitation. "Hello everyone. My name is Cole and… I'm an alcoholic."

The End

Well, as long as the problem is mentioned, I might as well point out that 12-step programs are proven to work… And admitting you have a problem really is the first step. Oh, yeah, and:

AA (12-step program for alcoholics) website: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

AA's online intergroup site: http://www.aa-intergroup.org/

Al Anon (a resource for family-members) website: http://www.al-anon.org

Al Anon's online intergroup site: http://www.ola-is.org/

Alateen (a resource for the children of alcoholics) website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/


End file.
